Summer '09 (was life)

Chapta twenty uno

Chapta twenty UNO

Kate's P.O.V

The next day Ethan avoids me. It's a Saturday and usually we spend them together. But this time, it's different. He doesn't call, text or anything. It's like he's mad at me. Saturday passes and I'm still confused. By Sunday, I've figured out he doesn't want to be my friend anymore.

I spend Sunday in my room felling sorry for myself. I always ruin things. Why do I have to be me? Why can't I be perfect like Austin and all the other girls at school? Why do I have to be different? The whole time I'm crying into my pillow, asking myself more like telling myself what a failure and piece of crap I am.

I finally stop crying and drift into sleep. I let sleep overcome me, but with sleep comes dreams. I have my recurring dream. The one where I'm falling, falling through space. And I fall and then I hit the ground.

Landing has never hurt so bad. I have hit rock bottom and there's nobody there to catch me. With this final action, I wake up.

It's Monday morning. A school day. A day of hell. A day if trying not to cry when the pain gets to be too much. A day of having to see Adam and now Ethan.

I get up and throw on sweat pants and a random shirt. I put neon socks on my feet and the first pair of shoes I see on my feet. I stumble downstairs and grab a granola bar and juice for breakfast.

I'm not in the mood for school today, so I decide to walk instead of drive. That way it takes longer. Maybe I'll be late and get detention. That would be nice. I wouldn't have to sit through a pain filled lunch. A lunch if silence and pain.

I end up walking into first period ten minutes late. I get detention, a good thing for today. School passes slowly and it drags on and on. Detention goes faster than the rest of the day though.

I walk home again. As I walk passed Ethan's house it hurts more. I feel empty, like a shell of a person. Everything hurts, I can't think straight. I go straight upstairs and collapse into bed.

I let out all the tears that have been threatening to spill out all day. Once I start crying I can't stop. I cry my eyes out. And then I fall asleep. This time it's dreamless.

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I'm writhing this in social studies. Ok bye...and thx for 637 reads