Dawning (Dysmorphia Series #3)

For Better Or For Worse

It was Cooper's first time driving in a Rolls Royce, Florence grinned at the expression on her friends face, Amberly sat on her lap playing with her Mother's curls looking positively angelic.

She could see right now, a veil didn't constrict her eyes but she still felt worried that somehow between climbing into the car and getting to the church her makeup would become smudged, the beautiful woman who had looked back at her in the mirror would turn back into a sniveling sixteen year old who thought nobody would ever love her, let alone marry her.

But that wasn't true, because she was on her way to a church where she and Andrew would become one.

However she had something else to do before the biggest day of her life could really get underway, she needed to prepare Cooper, she'd been wondering what was best to tell her or not to tell her but then she thought about how she would react if the person she loved turned up at her best friend's wedding.

Cooper smiled at her, looking slightly worried like she thought Florence was going to run away, little did she know that she should be more worried for herself, Sam was definitely going to be there today and for the first time since she'd hatched her crazy plan Florence allowed herself to wonder if she'd done something incredibly stupid, and was preventing her friend from moving on forever.

She couldn't do it, she opened her mouth to say the words but they refused to  come out.

She instead took her ringed hand in Cooper's, Amberly looked up at the two of them, a gummy smile on her face like she couldn't be prouder of them, this was silly to think but it was just one of those days.

"Flo, I wanted to say how happy I am for you and how glad I am to be here today with you, we've hardly had a smooth sailing friendship but I can trust you with anything and I hope you feel the same way, you've always been there for me and now I feel like I have to be here for you"

Florence was slightly confused, this didn't sound like the kind of talk two best friends had on the way to her wedding.

Cooper took a deep breath as if restraining herself.

"So to be fully here for you I need to tell you something, don't do this whatever the heck you think your doing today, your making the wrong choice today is not your day Flo, I know you , you feel like you have to do this to somehow prove that you really have moved on, that life is going well for you but your not truly happy I can see it on your face, don't marry Andrew, I have nothing personally against him but any fool can see he's not right for you and me being your best friend I know it for sure, your not yourself around him you put on this mask that your so whole in front of him and that's not you!"

She felt faint, if she wasn't clutching onto the seat she would have keeled over, how could Cooper do this to her on her wedding day? 

How could she make her have doubts on what should have been the best day of her life?

"Cooper" she sounded strangled.

"You've got this very wrong, I want this marriage, Andrew isn't someone who's going to hurt me and he's been there for me always, don't say things about my life when you have absolutely no idea about anything!"

She would not cry, even though Cooper had begun to show her first signs of crumbling, a tremble of her lips and a shudder running through her body.

"Florence listen to me, I know you probably think I'm trying to ruin things for you but I've been watching you for the past few weeks when you thought no one was, I've seen you nibbling at your lip and painting a smile on your face that didn't look like it belonged there, hate me all you like for this but it's not too late to call it off, it's never too late"

"Shut up Cooper, just shut the hell up!" she was surprised at the venom in her voice because she felt empty, like someone had ripped out all her organs and was slowly draining all the blood out of her.

Half of her wanted to order their driver, who now looked anxious in the front mirror to take them back to her house where she could peel back the layers of makeup, unzip her dress and become Florence again, but the stronger part of her protested that Cooper was merely too cautious, maybe even jealous because her own relationship had ended in disaster, she'd been left with a kid and a broken heart and Florence had perfection in the form of Andrew.

"I've been speaking to Cole" 

Florence finally looked Cooper in the eye, and saw a steely determination in her mascara- streaked face, Cooper was not backing down.

"For god's sake Cooper if you don't stop this I swear to God I will tell the driver to pull up at the next road and drop you there"

Amberly's head was rested on her Mother's arm and her eye's were closed, Florence wished she could do the same to shut out everything and just fade away.

"Your telling me, look at me Flo and tell me that you want this marriage, that you have no feelings for Cole except friendship, if you can do that then I will drop this, heck I will fully support your marriage, as I said before I have no personal problem with Andrew, he's a great guy, he's just not your great guy"

"So what Coops, you expect me to call my delighted Mum and tell her the wedding that everyone's been looking forward to for months is cancelled, and then while their all waiting in the hall you expect me to run away with Cole or what?"

Sarcasm was her only weak defense at the moment.

"No" said Cooper evenly "I don't expect you to do that, and I'm also noticing that you've avoided doing what I told you to do"

Florence looked her best friend dead on in the eye, careful not even to blink, she didn't know what to feel right now, this had unhinged everything and made her want to hurl up the little breakfast she'd had, pre-wedding jitters?

"I am in love with Andrew and I'm going to marry him today, Cole is merely a good friend and I'd like you to support me today"

Cooper looked like someone had slapped her, Florence recognised the look it was the look you wore when you realised everything you'd thought was wrong, the look that meant that your carefully constructed argument had come crumbling done, Cooper believed her.

"I'm so sorry Florence, I just had to push you, it's not just me who was worried it was your Mum too, I needed to put you on the spot to be sure that you weren't just marrying someone as a defense mechanism, forgive me?"

She'd passed some kind of test, proven that her love for Andrew was valid.

Because it was, of course it was.

"Of course I forgive you, but seriously you should take some acting lessons because your performance just there was Oscar worthy, you actually had me thinking you wanted me to cancel my wedding"

Both their laughs sounded forced as they drew up to St Mary's Church.

Cooper took her arm and gently hoisted a drowsy Amberly on to her hip.

"You ready?"

No, she absolutely wasn't.

"More ready than I've ever been"

They walked up to the church where her Father awaited together, but she'd never felt so distant from Cooper, or from reality.