Dawning (Dysmorphia Series #3)

The True Meaning Of Love

The first person that Florence locked eyes with was someone she had been thinking about for the entire journey, because of course Cole would be standing outside the church talking to her Father looking dashing in a navy blue suit, of course he would because she wasn't already unhinged.

They maintained eye contact for longer than was proper for someone who was going to get married today, Amberly snorting brought her out of her reverie and back into what was real life, real life was her getting married even though she felt like she was coming over with a fever.

Cole excused himself before she could approach them both, which of course was the polite thing to do, she was getting married and he was only a spectator.

It was terrible how she wished he was more than that at this moment.

Her Father turned to her with such love pooling in his eyes that she felt like breaking down, just breaking down and telling him that she didn't know whether she wanted this anymore, and just like the time she had sprained her ankle he would hold her hand and drive her home, safe and sound, protected by a bubble of unconditional love.

"My sweet girl, I promised myself I wouldn't blubber but..." he reached into his pocket for his handkerchief and wiped at his eyes.

"I'm so, so proud of you Florence there's no point in me trying to articulate how happy I am to see the woman you've become, how love has shaped and changed you"

"Thank you Daddy" she whispered, and fiercely hugged him with one arm trying to say more than just those three words, to convey all her gratitude towards him for helping her to fix herself, for never ever giving up or losing hope in her.

She turned around to see Cooper smiling at them, wistfully.

"We going to do this honey? I know a bride should always be fashionably late but we're bordering on extremely late"

"Of course"

She composed herself, that was what today would be all about composure and smiling to the camera because anything else just wouldn't do, she chastised herself for thinking so sardonically she could have done a whole lot worse, a whole lot worse than marrying someone she loved who loved her back.

Then again, she could have done a whole lot better at loving him back.

And the sick feeling returned, she could see her whole life before her eyes, slightly begrudging and polite she would be the epitome of a perfect wife, doing all she could to try and pretend everything was okay because it would be her job, since when had she become sure a tiresome coward?

This wasn't fair on Andrew, it absolutely wasn't fair, he had no idea that he was signing up for resentment and cold smiles and the slow decaying of their relationship because he had no idea of her true nature, she would destroy any vestige of what happiness could be like with her incessant wanting for more when she'd quite literally been handed all the ingredients to happiness in her hands.

She could hear the familiar tune of the wedding march as she looped her arm through her Father's almost robotically, she seemed to have accepted her fate, this wasn't everything she had ever wanted, but it was most of it.

Florence reached up and pulled down her veil and almost in slow motion it fell over her eyes blurring the world with white lace, she felt like she was somehow living in a world made of silk and lace, so perfectly white and fragile, each piece of fabric stitched in a certain way.