Dawning (Dysmorphia Series #3)

Goodbye Florence Clarke

Florence stood in front of the two gravestones, not quite sure how to feel, Chase was buried here, Levi had joined him a year ago, it had only felt right to bury two people who had been so close together in death, as far as she knew Levi had no family, only friends.

Elise clasped Florence's hand and Florence squeezed it back trying her best to keep her tears at bay, but why even try?

Her daughter needed to know that showing emotion wasn't necessarily a bad thing, in fact crying was sometimes one of the best forms of healing.

Cole didn't ask any questions, just kept his hand on her shoulder to prove that he was there, that he would always be there, just as Levi and Chase would always live on in her hearts, she reminded herself that deep down she was lucky, lucky to have known such extraordinary people who had shaped her life in ways she could never have imagined.

That night in bed when she closed her eyes Florence was reminded of The List, when everything had began, when her life had seemed like it wasn't hers anymore, she'd took it back with both hands and now clasped it close, her life was her life and nobody else's.

She'd gone through turmoil, at some points she'd thought she never would have made it through, anyone looking down on her life as a whole would judge it as a twist and turn of fate, nothing in her life had to happen, but happen it had and inexplicably Florence wouldn't have had it any other way. It was like there could have been another version of her, sure a less broken version, but also a version who didn't know how to love at her highest and be at her lowest.

She wasn't a patient, or the FBPG, a broken doll that needed fixing or a daughter who let her parents down time after time.

Florence was a Mother, a Wife and an Author now, no one could ever take that away from her.

Dawning had launched and with it had come enormous success as predicted, but almost as soon as it was out Florence had felt the urge to write again, but this time not about anything to do with her life, because her story had been told, people knew her story by heart and would reference it all over the internet.

Instead she wrote about a boy, a boy who didn't know how special he was until the very end, who had managed to shape a life and then leave his own life but still manage to cause ripples even when he was gone, she hadn't told anyone what she was writing, and if she seemed strange everyone put it down to Levi's sudden death at the hands of a heart attack.

But every night at exactly 1am when she couldn't sleep Florence would creep out of her bedroom, pause in the doorway to look at Cole's silhouette and then walk over to her desk, open her laptop and begin to write, because she needed to write, that was something else she had learned, a life without writing for her didn't exist, to delve into an imaginary world was an amazing gift.

After she'd typed as much as she could she logged onto her Twitter pausing at the influx of notifications to reply to a few, then she began to write her own tweet.

"Three years ago I put my laptop down and finished Dysmorphia, two words, thank you"

That was enough to sum up all of her feelings, she didn't need long rambling paragraphs or a book, all she felt was gratitude to the people who knew everything and still only chose to see the best, a refresh of her feed showed that her post had already exploded, she smiled and closed the laptop screen.

Florence walked into Elise's room looking up at the mobile that she and Cole had painted, silver stars and crescents looked down on her baby as she slept, her eyelashes in perfect curls.

She took a seat by the small bed and just sat their looking at her for a while, how strange that something so perfect could be her's.

Reaching out a hand she stroked her hair.

"Elise" she whispered

"Mummy needs to tell you a story, it won't take too long but it's very important, I need to tell you a story of a girl who was as lost as could be, who didn't think anyone understood and pushed away the people who loved her, she was taken away to a place that wasn't what she thought she wanted but ended up being everything she had ever needed. There she met someone so special, someone she thought she could hold onto forever, but sometimes forever doesn't last very long, then she was lost again so very lost. And then, just when she thought everything was lost and she would never ever be able to love again along came her knight in shining armour, except sometimes even knights with shining armour don't shine quite enough so the girl found someone else, someone who might not have been perfect but ended up being his own kind of perfect. They had a beautiful baby and I hope to God that they will get their happily ever after, The End"

Elise snorted and then turned over on her pillow, Florence laughed aloud she was crazy sitting up in the middle of the night talking to her daughter like she could understand every word.

"I hope so too"

Florence literally jumped out of her skin at the sound of Cole's voice, she turned around to see him smiling at her wryly.

"You think I don't notice that my wife wakes up every morning at 1am, that's if she ever even goes to sleep, walks over to her laptop and taps away for around an hour then creeps back to bed?"

Damn.

"That was a beautiful story by the way, but you forgot one important thing to tell Elise about this girl, Elise this girl she has many faults and she'll be the first one to admit it but her way to getting her hands on her happily ever after is to fight for it just like she'd fought for everything else and will probably continue to do until she takes her last breath, and that's why people love her so very much, she's a fighter"

And that's how she knew, more than anything she realised at that moment that her life was the best, it was utterly complete and made.

"I love you so bloody much Cole" she reached for him and practically dragged him towards her.

"I love you too you sop"

"Right now I feel like pancakes" he said as he pulled away, she raised an eyebrow.

"Cole, it's 4am"

"You only live once, so live a little Florence"

She clapped a hand to her mouth, had he just paraphrased her? She could have sworn they'd had this conversation once before, under very different circumstances when they'd quite literally been strangers.

He winked.

"Yup, I just quoted you"

Florence took his hand and walked into the kitchen already dreaming about a perfect pile of golden pancakes dripping with syrup, calories weren't even on her mind, neither was a worry in the world, her world was at peace, everything finally made sense.

She was Florence Clarke, and that was amazing.