stammering love ➳ peterick au

chapter four // the drug in me is you

(-meadowpatrick: beebo mentions bipolar disorder incorrectly here.. so, please don't come at us, it's just breadbin's weird dialect)

Brendon's POV.

they dipped my head into the toilet water again, which made the water rush into my nose. they're not good friends, i know, but they're all i got. i just wish that somebody would do something. they dipped my head into the water again.

it was as if you never learned how to swim. and then someone, accidentally or not, just pushed you into a freezing pool, them hoping (or not) that you wouldn't drown. but you were drowning, as water rushed in through your nose and slowly into your lungs. as if there were no lifeguards, just you, the pool, and the onlooking bystanders.

it was crazy too. that i got punishments for not smoking a lot. it's happened before too, for even simpler things.

dan, as always, was just a bystander, an apprentice if you will. dal was the guy in charge, and kenn was his right hand man. that only left me, the guinea pig.

if they felt bad or anything, they always found a way to take it out on me. today was one of those days.

finally, somebody spoke up. surprisingly, it was dan, his voice low yet assertive. "i think that's enough, dal."

only a few moments later did i hear the bathroom door click. it was only dal and i left in the bathroom. he lifted me up by my hair, placing my head on his lap.

i heard a few choked sobs, not even realising that they came from me. "why do you have to do this to me, dal?" his fingers carded through my wet hair, as a few more sobs left my mouth. "don't worry about it, bren."

i should hate him. should hate kenn and dan too. but i couldn't. it was weird because it was as if my feelings towards them went bipolar. some days, we would just relax on dal's balcony, maybe drink a couple beers. but other days, i just wish i could end it all.

"i hate you." but 'i have a thing for you' is what i really wanted to say. my voice was hoarse. i sounded weak and i hated it.

the water had finally cleared out of my nose, seeing as my nose was no longer burning. but his fingers just kept on combing through my hair, him not caring if i said i hated him or loved him. dan and kenn were either listening in or getting high. and then me. the soaking teenager with uncaring fingers gliding through his hair.

i lifted my head off his lap, as my hair slowly started to soak my clothes.

"i don't wanna do it anymore, dal."

i backed away slowly, scared of his intentions. his eyes, a cold brown, stared right into mine.

"then leave."

and then i couldn't breath. because i didn't want it to turn out this way. but i got up anyway, as i left the bathroom.

i ignored kenn and dan as they pretended like they weren't eavesdropping. i ignored the holes being stared into my back by dal. ignored my sticky hair and clothes. and i ignored the empty feeling in my heart as i tried to manoeuvre my way around the house without crying like the pussy i was.

•★•★•

"what the hell are you doing here?" the group stared at brendon with awe, his presence confusing all of them.

"i-i just i'm... i can't, i didn't want to... anymore," he stuttered.

"you don't want to? don't want to what?" one of them asks. brendon didn't know which one. he never made the effort to recognize their voices. and he refused to lift his head. "i-i..."

"give him a break. atleast he won't hurt us like dallon or kenneth." the group was silent after that, for brendon was greatful that he didn't have to answer any more questions.

finally gaining courage, brendon looked up and only recognized three people.

there was riley, the trans kid that most people avoided.

patrick, the kid with the stutter.

and josh, the blue-haired boy, who made an awful mistake trying to pick a fight with dal.

"what happened to your hard exterior, dude?" a girl- the only girl- asks, her bright orange hair tucked behind her ears. it perfectly parted at the side and framed her face like a perfect picture. "don't you hate us gay kids?"

"n-no, that's not me..." of course they didn't believe him. the rich kids were the only kids who decided to bother them.

brendon knew there was only one way to gain their trust, seeing as he probably wasn't going to be a rich kid anytime soon. he knew the majority of them were gay, so they wouldn't judge him. no, instead they wouldn't believe him. they'd call him a fraud. out him to the whole school. ruin any reputation he had left.

"i understand you guys..." their faces remained blank.

"i-i like guys." they were shocked, suprisingly able to hear his hushed voice.

"so you're gay?" a guy with a slight afro asked him, as he tried to assess the situation.

brendon quickly denied the assumption. "i mean, i like girls too."

"s-so you're bi?" patrick asked, confusing brendon even more.

"what the hell is that?" josh spoke up for him. "it means you like both genders..." brendon could've sworn he added a quick 'dumbass' too, but maybe he's just paranoid.

and then it was quiet.

"so... uhh..." ryan mumbled.

there was nothing to talk about. what exactly could you converse about when you hardly know the person?

"why don't we give him another chance?" mikey said, eyeing the stranger carefully. "we can invite him to ray's house; to see what he's like."

the group agreed, finishing the last of their lunches.

"how am i supposed to get there?" brendon said cautiously, as he wasn't very keen on the idea. a petite smile grew on ryan's face. "i can walk you there."

"yeah, sure."

and so it was set. brendon didn't know what he was getting himself into.

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-meadowpatrick: this is such a filler (it's also the shortest chap, soz) expect more in the next chap. thank you all so much for reading and voting! x (gigantic thanks to lyre_of_midnight you're the best boo)

lyre_of_midnight: ((lmao np boo)) hiya kids I didn't do much here but heyya this turned out gr8!! tell us what you think

ALSO!!!! FAV CHARACTER SO FAR AND WHY?