Change of Heart (A Faith-Based Gay Romance)

Chapter 12: "Tempted Hearts"

The kiss deepened, drawing Dean under until he was fully submerged in his long-suppressed passion for Nicholas. The young man sank against him, offering no resistance and instead, clinging to him, drinking him in.

A nudge in the back of his mind warned him to ease up, back off, before their passion and longing for one another took them places they shouldn't go. Just the thought of it warmed Dean through and through, the heat pooling in all the wrong places.

God handed him back to you, a gift straight from heaven...are you going to immediately disrespect God by diving into temptation?

Dean trembled and with great reluctance, withdrew from the kiss...though not far from it as his lips lingered, trembling against the young man's mouth. Nicholas' eyes were closed, then slowly opened, hazy with desire. They stared at one another for a long moment and seemed to come to their senses at the same time.

Uncurling his fists and releasing Dean's shirt, Nicholas stepped back, a bit unsteady. He licked his lips and nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "Would...would you like some coffee?" he mumbled without direct eye contact.

Dean released a shaky breath. "Yeah."

"Make yourself at home," Nicholas said quietly. "I'll bring it in." He picked up the cup from the coffee table, the contents of which had long since cooled before Dean arrived, and took it back to the kitchen with him.

Dean sat down on the sofa, his eyes drifting to the open Bible on the coffee table. Verses were underlined and highlighted and notes scribbled on the pad next to the bible. Dean leaned forward and read the designated scriptures, then looked at Nicholas' notes. A lump formed in his throat and when Nicholas returned with two cups of coffee, Dean looked up at him, a thin film of tears in his eyes.

A frown creased Nicholas' brow then he glanced at the Bible and notepad. His stare shifted back to Dean.

"Why were you taking notes on these scriptures?" Dean asked quietly.

Nicholas hesitated then came closer and handed a cup to Dean. He sat down beside him and sipped his coffee, eyes on the bible, but didn't immediately answer.

"It looks like you were developing a sermon," Dean murmured.

Nicholas nodded. "Sort of," he whispered.

Dean picked up the notepad and looked at the young man. "And this is what you were going to say?"

"Yes."

Dean swallowed past the knot and whispered, "Why?"

Sliding a coaster across the table, Nicholas set his cup down and looked at the Bible. "From the moment I met you," he said quietly. "I knew that you were anointed of God. I've never met anyone who allows God's love to flow through them so freely and uninhibited by one's own human behavior. I knew I could trust you as a spiritual leader, that you wouldn't take me down the wrong path. And I wasn't the only one who saw this in you. When you were overseeing the program, we all trusted you completely because it was so easy to see God in you."

"Nicholas..." Dean started, the guilt within flaring up, hurting his heart.

"No..." Nicholas grasped his hand. "I know you think you let us down, that you hurt us and led us astray, but you didn't. Through it all, we knew that if we followed you, trusted your guidance, you would get us where we needed to go. And you did." Nicholas touched his face and kissed him softly. "It hurt when you stood up there yesterday and said those things, but not because I didn't believe you. Regardless how I was feeling on a personal level, I still knew in my heart, in my spirit, that God was still leading you. I never stopped trusting you. And that's why your words had such impact on others from the program as well because they still trust you and know you are a true man of God. Unlike so many others, your heart is truly open to God...for him to speak new things to you, and give you insight into matters that you didn't have before. And what God gives to you...you pass it on to the rest of us." Nicholas touched his lips to Dean's shoulder. "You are a true treasure, Pastor Mitchell."