Change of Heart (A Faith-Based Gay Romance)

Chapter 17: "A Lesson in Love"

Pastor Bryant was sitting with his back to Dean, thus making it difficult to gauge his response to Nicholas' words. Dean prayed that the pastor was taking to heart the things the young man was saying—as he'd encouraged of Dean—though the rigidness in the Bryant's body suggested he wasn't receiving it with an open mind. All these young people from the program—both the dropouts and those still participating—longed to be embraced and accepted by their church family. It was spiritually devastating to consider the vast number of gay kids, and gay adults, out there in the world being rejected by God's people daily, being told that they absolutely cannot have a relationship with God if they accept their sexuality.

Dean held onto hope that within this little church, God's spirit would move today and plant seeds of understanding and compassion in the hearts of his people.

Lord, bless Nicholas' words today. Your word tells us that anything sent out in your name will not return to you void. If his words impact just one heart today, it will be worth it.

Nicholas shuffled his notes. "I apologize if I've made anyone uncomfortable with talk of sexuality, but it shouldn't be an uncomfortable subject. We shouldn't be ashamed to talk about something that is such a natural part of us."

His gaze met with Dean's stare, and Dean trembled inside—both pleasantly and somewhat fearfully—at how comfortable Nicholas was with this subject. It seemed only natural that they would discuss at dinner the events of this meeting. Would it create a potentially precarious situation for the two of them to speak so openly about this matter...while they were alone?

Dean placed the concern at the back of his mind as Nicholas continued to speak.

"Too often, the word sexuality is directly associated with sex," he said. "And particularly when speaking of the sexuality of gays and lesbians. The opponents of homosexuality can't get past the physical relationships of homosexuals, and thus it's no wonder they begin to view it as something animalistic...as if our only purpose for being together is to engage in sex." His gaze repeatedly returned to Dean as his words flowed forth. "But attached to a person's sexuality—regardless your sexual preference—is the ability to feel and show affection, to delight in another person, to become..." His voice strained a fraction. "...emotionally intimate and passionately committed to that person."

Unexpected emotion constricted Dean's throat. He couldn't take his eyes off Nicholas as the young man's words pressed through to the inner sanctum of his heart.

"Sexuality..." Nicholas' tone took on a deep passion. "...is at the very core of that wonderful human experience; to be in love." From the back of the small sanctuary, Dean detected the soft shimmer in Nicholas' eyes, reflected by the soft overhead light. "Captivated by the beauty of another person and drawn out of yourself, and becoming a part of another human being so completely and powerfully that you begin to consider your life not only in terms of what's good for you but what's good for someone else as well."

The room swam around Dean as his heart beat against his ribs, struggling to break free and leap into Nicholas' hands. He already has a hold of your heart—he always has. Dean blinked and wiped his eyes. Timothy glanced back at him, his own tears glistening thickly. Dean smiled at him and the boy smiled back, then leaned closer to Elliot as the older boy tightened his arm around Timothy and softly kissed his head.

A surge of passion for this matter pushed into Nicholas' words. "The human capacity for love is, in large part, bundled together with our sexuality. We are more than just an intellectual creation that makes a calculated choice to value and treasure someone; we are emotional and physical as well. This is what it means to be human, and this comes into play when love is on the scene."