Change of Heart (A Faith-Based Gay Romance)

Chapter 14: "Perceptions of the Truth"

Rather than take a nap, Dean spent the remaining hour deep in prayer – for Nicholas, the church members, and the young people who were the targeted audience. Nicholas was young, but he was blessed with a strong mind and impenetrable conviction. He wouldn't hesitate to stand up at the head of the church, before his church family, and speak the truth without shame. Dean's love for him abounded and his pride in the young man grew exponentially with each passing moment.

Timothy and Elliot, along with a few of the others who had come to the motel that morning, were milling around in front of the church. Nervous anxiety etched their faces, then dissipated the instant Dean arrived and approached them.

"We didn't want to go in until you got here." Timothy grasped Elliot's hand, practically pressing against the older boy. The others drifted closer to Dean as if he provided a form of protection from the persecution—whether verbal or implied—that awaited them inside the church.

Dean thought about Nicholas' words, and how much these young people trusted him. Though older than the rest, Bradly and Jeremy had waited for Dean as well before venturing inside. Dean looked at the doors of the church and it filled him with sadness and heartbreak that these kids were literally afraid to enter God's house for fear of how they would be treated by God's own people. Again, it struck him how wrong this was. The house of the Lord should be the one place they felt the safest.

"Let's go inside," Dean told them. "It's going to be all right."

Timothy hesitated. "My parents are in there." He indicated their car that was parked in front of the church. "They don't know that I'm bringing Elliot with me today." Fear filled his eyes. "What if my dad freaks out? He didn't want to hear anything about me and Elliot. I could see it in his face, he was...disgusted at the thought of me having a boyfriend."

"If he freaks out," Elliot said quietly and drew Timothy closer. "We can leave. Don't worry."

Dean nodded. "He's right. If it becomes too much for you..." he looked at the others. "...for any of you, feel free to get up and leave. You're not obligated to be here." His gaze settled briefly on Nicole Warner and her girlfriend. They seemed years younger than sixteen as they clung to one another's hands, so frightened to set foot inside the church. They're only here because you're here, because you asked them all to be here. "I won't let anyone hurt you," he said softly, to the girls and the rest of them as well. "I'm not here to interfere, but neither will I stand back if any of you are mistreated. This is the Lord's house and no one has the right to make you feel as if you don't belong."

His assurances helped them relax. Dean looked around but didn't see Nicholas' car; he hadn't arrived yet.

Timothy noticed him searching the parking lot and asked, "Is Nicholas gonna be here, too?"

"Yeah," Dean murmured. "But I don't see his car yet." He smiled at the boy. "We'll wait for him inside."

Some of the current members of the program were seated near the front; most of them with their parents. A few of the kids glanced back when Dean entered with the "program dropouts" following behind. On a couple faces he was sure he saw wistful envy when they looked at the kids who had forsaken the program to embrace themselves. When their eyes turned to Dean, there was no mistaking the longing to come to him, to take the path he had insisted was safe to follow.

Tears formed and he blinked them back. It was his natural instinct to protect these kids and it took a force of will not to go to them and console their troubled hearts. Had some of them remained in the program only because their parents had forced them to do so? Dean thought about how close Timothy had come to taking his own life, about the waitress' brother...and he feared for the ones who couldn't walk away.