Change of Heart (A Faith-Based Gay Romance)

Chapter 20: "In God's Eyes"

The sun was going down by the time dinner was ready. Nicholas set up a small table near the fireplace, lit candles, and refilled the wine glasses. When the meal was on the table, Dean held Nicholas' chair. "Allow me." He smiled and slid the chair in when the young man sat down. Dean kissed his cheek then took his seat across from him. They grasped hands and Dean said grace, adding in a short prayer for pastor Bryant and the church.

"The moment of truth," Dean murmured with a smile as they prepared to taste their creation. "Want me to go first? I'll gladly risk my taste buds for you."

Nicholas chuckled. "We should taste at the same time."

"All right."

Both men sliced off a piece of their steak, looked at each other, then took the bite.

Dean smiled as he savored the meat. "Mm. This is actually really good."

"It is," Nicholas agreed.

"Must be your special touch that made it so delicious."

Nicholas shook his head. "We prepared it together, remember?"

"True. But we both know you're the better cook."

"I don't know that." Nicholas smiled and sipped his wine.

"Well, I do."

"I think..." Nicholas pursed his lips as he cut into his steak. "You're just trying to get out of cooking future meals."

"Mm. Beautiful and smart."

Nicholas laughed lightly, his face aglow with soft candlelight. Dean gazed at him as he tumbled down deeper and deeper into love with the man.

"So, tell me about the minister thing." Dean smiled. "Why didn't you mention it?"

"I don't know. I guess I wanted to make sure it was God's plan for me before I told you."

"The way Amanda talked," Dean said. "It seemed like you'd already made up your mind."

Nicholas nodded. "Yeah, well, maybe I have. But I don't want to rush into anything until I have confirmation from the Lord."

Dean reached out and squeezed his hand. "You have always had the gift. And if there had been even the slightest doubt, what I witnessed today extinguished it." He smiled and leaned forward as he brought Nicholas' hand to his lips. "But there was never any doubt. You belong up there in the pulpit, giving hope and radiating the love of God. Sadly, not everyone finds that in their church. But they would in your church."

"Or...our church."

"What?" Dean smiled.

"I liked Bradley's idea of us sharing the pulpit."

His smile spreading, Dean nodded and kissed his hand again. "I did, too. Very much."

Nicholas sighed, heartbreak seeping into his eyes. "A lot of Christians say that a gay church is a contradiction of terms."

"People say a lot of things in God's name," Dean murmured. "Doesn't mean God agrees. He's our God, too. Christ died for us just as he did for them. We know that he made us the way we are, to feel the things we feel. So, if he's our God, and he died for us, and created us to his liking...then we know he supports all that we do to share his love with the world. And it doesn't matter what "people" say. It isn't going to change the truth of the matter, not one little bit."

"I love your mind," Nicholas whispered. "And your heart. You inspire me, you always have. I wanted to be just like you."

Dean cupped his hand between both palms. "You don't have to be like me, or anyone else...you are absolutely perfect just being the you that God created you to be. It's those like you who will change this world...one heart at a time."