Gold - The Outsiders Fanfiction

The talk

Darry and Soda drove me home from the hospital in the darkness. It's been a long day and I'm ready for Darry's lecture tonight. He said he was going to tell me how to treat girls. I've never dated anyone else before, but I'm pretty sure I know how to treat Charlie right. I'm glad Soda's gonna be there in case Darry gets too off track or too graphic.

"Come on, outta the car," Soda said sweetly.

I opened the door and stepped out into the cold air. I was very tired. Darry unlocked the front door and I went inside followed by Soda.

"Sit, Pony," Darry said. 

I took a seat down on our sofa and I felt like sleeping then and there.

"So Pony," Began Darry. "Your girlfriend, Charlie."

"What about her?" I asked.

"Soda, you start," ordered Darry.

"Pony, the proper way to treat girls is, hold on let me think of how to say this. Okay, if she seems sad, ask her if she's okay. If she's in trouble like if she's getting jumped or cornered by Socs or something, do anything you can to help her, even if it means risking your life. Always hold open doors for her, be chivalrous," Soda said, taking a long breath at the end.

"Well said, Soda. Now let's get a bit more serious. Ponyboy, you are now at an age where you will start to feel significant urges for... How should I say this?" Darry began.

"Woah! What's going on, Darry what the fuck..." I said.

"You will get significant urges around your dick!" Two-Bit shrieked.

Steve and Two-Bit came out from the kitchen howling with laughter.

"What are you two doing here?" Asked Soda. 

"We was the gettin' a beer cause Mum's boyfriend drank the ones I had in the house and I overheard you guys. "Now how about you let us handle this?" 

"Fine, I guess you'll make it more interesting," agreed Darry.

"Okay so," began Two-Bit, setting his beer down on the table. "You will start to wake up in the morning very happy and big!"

"Darry please, we already learned about this at school I promise!" I pleaded.

"Up until I was fourteen, I thought a pussy was the asshole of a woman!" Steve said, once again him and Two-Bit laughing their asses off.

I just looked at them like 'The fuck?'

"All of you! Stop! This is a serious matter!" Darry yelled.

"Okay Ponyboy, what's your favorite food?" Asked Steve.

"Uh, Pepsi," I said.

"That's not a food, Pony," Two-Bit said.

"I know that!" I snapped.

"Anyway!" Interrupted Steve. "Sex is like Pepsi. If you don't have any, you don't know what you're missing out on. But once you have one, you cannot stop!" 

Steve and Two-Bit erupted into laughter again.

"Yeah, and if you ever wanna talk, Steve and I are always here. We're taking anal Ponyboy, we're taking threesomes," Two-Bit said.

"What the fuck!" I snapped.

"You two, if you can't be mature, you can get out," Darry hollered.

"We are though, we want Ponyboy to have the confidence to be open to anything," Steve said.

"Yeah and that's good, but you should stop laughing," Soda said.

"Honestly Ponyboy, you can do whatever you want as long as it's consensual, which means both of you agree, and it's respectable," Soda said. 

"In basic terms, yes," Darry agreed.

"So are we done here?" I asked. "Why are we even having this conversation? We already learned about this at school!"

"I bought something over a while ago for when I was staying here, let me see if it's still in the same hiding spot," Two-Bit said.

He wandered over to the other side of the room and lifted up the bookcase. Under it was a magazine.

"Two-Bit!" Scolded Darry.

Two-Bit opened it to a page of a naked woman with her legs spread wide open. Two-Bit showed Steve, Soda, and Darry.

"Dally gave me this," Two-Bit said. 

"Suprise surprise," Darry scoffed.

"Okay, I think we're done here," I said, getting off the couch.

I picked up the phone.

"Who ya callin'?" Asked Soda.

"The childhood trauma line!" I said.

I don't know if I was joking or not.

Darry took the receiver from my hand and put it down.

"You need sleep Ponyboy," he told me. "You can go visit Charlie, Dally, and Johnny tomorrow."

"Wait, before ya go to bed can ya tell us what happened the past week?" Asked Steve.

I explained everything that happened, from the night Bob was killed to Charlie, Dally, and Johnny in hospital. Hopefully tomorrow the nurses or doctors will tell me exactly what's happening.

"Well, goodnight," I said, walking into the bedroom, falling asleep right away.