Our Little Secret [Sequel]

19

Justin

Locking up my office door, I leaned against the cold glass as I breathed out. Running a hand through my hair over my sweaty forehead, I checked my watch.

9:05

I usually got out by six but not tonight. The meeting was the longest I had ever had. It was hot, boring, and stupid, I wanted to rip my ears off. I'd rather hear Grace's annoying voice than listen to someone talk about graphs for an hour.

Feeling a vibration in my pocket, I took it out.

Grace posted:

"My baby girl just crawled over to me and got into my lap while I was practicing my yoga. What a sweetheart! #halfwaytobaby'sfirststeps"

My heart sunk. I couldn't even look at it anymore. Quickly turning my phone all the way off, I blinked back the tears. I repeatedly asked Grace to let me see her but after my lash out on her a few months back, she won't let me near her. It was like she thought I'd hurt her.

I knew she wasn't mine, but I had gotten attached to her.

Stepping into the elevator, I stood patiently as the numbers counted down.

29...
28...
27...

I wanted to kick the fucking doors and just jump down and hit the bottom. BAM! You're dead. Why was I so miserable? Was it because I cut off my mom, and she probably thinks I hate her? Maybe it's because I thought I had a daughter and I was lied to. Or maybe it's because I'm so fucked up in the head that no one will trust me. Not even the love of my life. I slide down the wall and breathed out heavily. I can't even stand in the elevator quietly without having a mini melt down.

Ding.

Once the doors slid open, I stood up and walked into the parking garage. Striding to my regular parking space, I let out a angry groan when my car was gone.

"What the fuck is going on in my life?!" I yelled at the empty air in front of me, along with my empty car space.

Walking over to the concrete wall to look out at the city, I scoffed.

Maybe I should jump off the building, no one would care.

Negative thoughts... negative thoughts. That's all that entered my mind. I was practically shaking hands with the dark parts of my thoughts, letting them take over.

"Justin?"

"Oh look I'm hallucinating angel voices... has god come to give me a lecture?"

"Uh... no, its me." She said knowing I'd recognize her voice. "I-I was riding by and stopped at a bar and ran into Dan." She explained. "He said he saw the towing company leaving your building a while ago. So he asked if I could come drop you off since... ya know I know where you live." Clearing her throat, I could feel her shying away like everyone always did around me.