Chapter Seven

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Clarke managed to make it across the street, into her old house, and into her father's dust covered office before her knees gave out beneath her. She laid on the dirty floor, her eyes pouring as she struggled to breathe.

What had she expected? Yes, she had believed Bellamy had loved her. But that was two whole years ago. Was he just supposed to sit around and wait for someone who may not have came back for another year? No. No, absolutely not. Clarke knew that would be crazy, but that knowledge didn't make her pain dull any.

She cried, her chest constricting as she clawed at her heart. She cried out of pain, sadness, and a small amount of relief to finally be back in her father's house. She cried until she couldn't catch her breath, until she was embarrassed, until she heard the large group of people enter her house.

Her mother found her, offering to help her from the floor. But, Clarke refused. "I'm sorry," Abby whispered. "I'm sorry that we left, okay? But, if he's the one for yo-"

"Don't you dare," Clarke sobbed. "No. No matter what you say right now, it won't erase the fact that I have loved him my entire life. Do you understand me? It won't take away the two years that I spent hating you and my life while my heart remained shattered. And it sure won't help me right now with the knowledge that because of you, and you alone, I have lost the love of my life. I know that when we moved, I was fifteen. I know that right now I'm not quite eighteen, but I know that Bellamy Blake was the love of my life and now I know that for the rest of my life, I'll have the feeling in my chest, Mother. I will continue to wake up, and be in pain. I will go to school, I'll work, and I'll sleep in pain. Your apology doesn't help me, it doesn't fix me, and it doesn't fix our relationship." Clarke wiped her eyes, clearing her throat. "When Dad died, you were locked in your room for two days. Do you know who never left my side? Bellamy. Not you. Now, I'm going for a run."

"It's already two, you should eat," Abby whispered, her voice thick with emotion, mostly guilt.

"I've got no appetite now. I'll have my phone," Clarke said, pushing past the people who were cleaning. She passed the moving truck, reaching into her car for her phone and headphones. As she turned her music on, she refused to look at her house or hers, instead, she took off running, her feet slapping the pavement giving her the only sense of freedom she had felt in two years.

Her smile widened as she continued on, passing her neighborhood, passing the city, and even passing the sign for the highway. She continued on, pushing her body further and harder than she had done in two years. She smiled as she felt her body straining. The pull in her legs, the slight cramp in her stomach, they were all pains she wanted to feel, so she could try and stop feeling the pain in her chest.

When she arrived home later, hours and hours later, she dug in her car to pay the cab driver, thanking him before he drive away.

"Where the hell have you been?!" Abby called from the front porch. "It's been six hours for the love of God! How far did you need to go to be away from me this time?"

Clarke sighed, drinking her water deeply as she heard people cracking their doors to listen better. "I ran probably ten," she said. "And then, I walked about forty."

"Are you trying to kill yourself? Cause your body to go into shock?!"

Clarke shrugged, hating that her mother was being so over dramatic. "Nah, just needed to clear my head." She walked up the stairs, past her mother. "Grabbing a shower before bed, you got the school stuff worked out, right?"

"Yes," Abby nodded, leaning back against the front door. "You'll be starting back Monday morning, just like everyone else." Abby oil a deep breath. "Clarke?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry. For lots of things, but for not being there for you when we lost our father. We both lost him," she said.

Clarke could have yelled or made her mother feel worse, but she didn't see the point. "It's whatever. Bellamy was here. Honestly, I think it was better that way. He missed him, too. He needed to be with me, someone who understood. Dad always loved him," Clarke pointed out, a small, slight jab at how her mother had never fully approved of Clarke and Bellamy being inseparable.

"Yes, Jake was absolutely fond of him. I may not have thought of him as family, Clarke, but that doesn't mean I never imagined that he wouldn't marry you. Your whole childhood, I always imagined you two would end up being married at eighteen, fighting my pleas to wait until after college," Abby admitted.

"Yeah, well, you made sure you stopped that," Clarke replied, turning to shower.












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Side note: new Bellarke story is out now, it's called Postcard Princess ❤

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