Mary Grace

Fifteen

Fifteen

I stared at the only picture that was hanging on his wall. It was the picture of the two of us taken about a year ago nang mag-hiking kami sa Mt. Pinatubo. It was also the only picture we had together. Mariah and Danielle urged us to smile in front of the camera and act like a real couple that we are. I never had a copy of that picture and was surprised when I first saw it displayed inside Jeremy's room about a week after the hiking trip.

"No..." He muttered. He approached me and drop into his knees, hugging my waist. "Please no..."

Kung nagulat ako sa sinabi ko ay mas nagulat ako sa naging reaksiyon niya.

"Jeremy..." Tears began welling up in my eyes.

He buried his face into my stomach. "No, I need you..."

"Jeremy, this wouldn't work out if it's only you who's fighting for the two of us. I'm really... fucked up. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko—"

"We can work this out, baby." He lifted himself up and cupped my face. He gave me a quick kiss on the lips. "Don't make decisions that you will soon regret in the end. It will destroy us both."

I bite my lower lips. I don't know what to say.

"Mary Grace," Napatingin ulit ako sa kanya. I felt really guilty when I saw his glassy eyes. He looks like he is about to cry pero pinipigilan niya lang. "I love you, okay? I know you're going through something really hard right now pero hindi kita iiwan. I need you and I know you need me too. We can go all through this shits. Remember when you said you wanted to live in a beach house with me? We're going to achieve that. This whole drama is just a blip of your life."

I looked down on my lap, losing the guts to meet him in the eyes. "I'm sorry." I murmured.

He nodded and pulled me closer into a hug. I lean my head on his chest and let the familiarity seep into my bones once again.

"God, I wouldn't know what to do without you."

Oh Jeremy, I wouldn't know if you can still stay with me after learning about my dark past.

We stayed like that for a few minutes. "Do you want to sleep?" He asked softly. His voice is croaked as if he swallowed the lump forming inside his throat. "You should get some rest."

I nodded silently. Jeremy tucked me into bed and covered me in white sheets. I inhaled his scent and grabbed his hand before he could go back into the bathroom. Napatingin siya sa akin.

"Sleep with me."I said. "I mean, literally."

He chuckled and went to the other side of the bed. He didn't even bother putting on some clothes. He pulled me closer and we fell asleep like that.

---

Simula nang mangyari iyon, napansin ko mas naging malambing na sa akin si Jeremy. He keep on telling me na ipakilala ko na siya sa parents ko para malaya na niya akong nasusundo sa bahay. Hindi ko alam ang dahilan, o kung mayroon nga bang dahilan kung bakit hindi ko magawang maipakilala si Jeremy sa kanila.

As for Harry, we went back to what we were before. Nagtitinginan lang kami pero hindi nagpapansinan. Not even a nod of acknowledgement. Naging invisible ako sa kanilang dalawa ni Ate Annie and I couldn't deny the fact that it somehow made me sadder this time around.

"Get some rest, okay?" Jeremy pulled me closer and planted a soft kiss on my forehead when we got home from school one afternoon.

I nodded my head. "Thanks," I said silently before climbing out of his car. I walked the remaining blocks to my house and was greeted with loud crash of something breaking.

"I don't care!" Ate Annie screamed. I tip-toed inside the living room and scanned the surroundings. Nasa kusina silang tatlo ni Mommy at Daddy. Pulang-pula ang mga mata at mukha niya. Tears streaked down her face as well.

"Watch your words, Annie. Hindi mo na nirerespeto ang mommy mo." Dad growled silently.

"Oh? She's not even my mother. Is there any reason for her to deserve my respect?"

Dad slapped her. Hard. Napasinghap ako. Ate Annie fell into the ground because of the impact. Mom rushed to help her stand up but she just shoved her away.

"Get out of my house!" Dad yelled.

"Thunder," Mom pleaded. "Please don't. You're only going to make it worse."

Ate Annie cried silently on the floor. For the first time, I felt pity for her even though I know I'm in a much worse situation.

Naglakad ako nang tahimik papunta sa kwarto ko. I immediately turn on the stereo to block the muffled noises below. I have my own drama to deal with and I do not need anymore of it from them.

---

As expected, Mom was gloomy the next morning. She forced a smile when she saw me and quickly place a plate on the table.

"Kumain ka na, anak."

I pulled myself down into the chair and place my elbows on the table. "Mum, what happened?"

She hesitated for a while and it hurt me the idea that my own mother is hesitant to tell things to me. Especially about this make-believe perfect family.

"Well... she failed the board exam."

My eyes widen in surprise. I cocked both my eyebrows. "She did?"

She sighed and sat across the table. "Yeah. She took the board exam intoxicated. Galit na galit ang Daddy mo sa nangyari because she even break down in front of a professor who confronted her. I'm sure she will be the talk of the town as of now."

I can't believe my ears. Ate Annie is goal-oriented and a well-disciplined student. Hindi ko ma-imagine na sinisigawan o sinagot man lang niya ang isa sa mga professors niya.

"Where's Dad?" I looked around. By this time around, nakaupo na siya sa lamesa at nagbabasa ng dyaryo bago siya pumasok sa trabaho.

"He went to work early. He said he wanted to talk to your sister once he gets home."

I nodded and finished off my breakfast silently. Mom just watched me with a sad look on her face.

"Hey, can you take a look on your sister?" She asked silently. "Hindi pa siya kumakain simula kagabi. Ayaw niya din akong pagbuksan ng pintuan."

"Okay," I nodded and pulled myself up. I grabbed my backpack and swung it over my shoulder before I went to Ate Annie's bedroom. I didn't bother to knock because I know she will not bother to answer me either. I twisted the doorknob and was surprised to find it unlock.

Pumasok ako sa loob. As expected from Ate Annie, napakalinis ng kwarto niya. She's a minimalist so it wasn't a surprise anymore that I didn't find any pictures hanging on the wall or wooden decors just like what I have in my room.

"Ate Annie?" I called out softly. I found her on the center of her bed, her back is turned away from me. She hasn't changed her clothes from yesterday which is kind of weird knowing that she's a clean freak just like Jeremy. Nilapitan ko siya and I contemplated for a second, wacking my brain for the right words to say.

"Tinatawag ka ni Mommy," I finally said.

Hindi niya ako sinagot. Tuluyan ko na siyang nilapitan at niyugyog ang balikat niya but still... no response.

I pulled her shoulders to reveal her face and turn her body around. Her face is pale as white and she looked really empty. My eyes immediately darted on the empty and familiar white bottle on her hands.

It was the same bottle of pills I attempted to swallow 2 weeks ago.

Nabitawan ko agad siya. Her body made a soft thud on the bed that sent me to hell for a second because of the fear that is seeping into my bones. I clamped a hand over my mouth as tears starts on rolling down my face.

And then I screamed out loud.