Mary Grace

Nine

Nine

He grabbed my arms before I could distance myself from him. I turned at him. His eyes glared with loneliness swirling in his dark orbs. His lips went into a thin line.

"Bakit? Mas may diin niyang tanong sa akin.

I glared at him as well. Pinilit kong kunin ang braso ko pero hindi ko ito matanggal mula sa pagkakahawak niya. The silence let the beach waves from below us perform its consistent and melodic hymn.

Napabuntong-hininga ako. There's no use of getting mad at each other. I couldn't blame him if he'll feel disheartened that I don't have any intention of going back to the life I used to have after he just spent his two years of looking for me.

"Harry... you don't understand." I said meekly. "Can't you see? I'm happy with my life right now. I'm happy being called Kath instead of Mary Grace. I'm happy being a humbled waitress instead of being the businessman's daughter. I'm happy to break free." I searched for understanding in his eyes but all I could see is sadness and despair. I bit on my lower lips. "Matagal ko nang pinatay si Mary Grace. I am living as Katherine now."

"No..." iniling-iling niya ang ulo niya na para bang hindi naniniwala sa akin. "You mean you'll just send me away after I've finally found you?" The disbelief is evident in his eyes. Hindi niya pa rin binibitawan ang braso ko.

Iniwas ko ang tingin sa kanya. "I don't have a choice. You don't need to live here, Harry. Wala dito sa cape ang buhay mo. And I know you'll have a much better life kung lalayo ka dito. May tiwala ako sa iyo, alam kong hindi mo naman ito sasabihin kina Mommy at Daddy, diba?"

Siya naman ang nag-iwas ng tingin sa akin. My heart sank into my chest.

"If you choose to do so, then I'll have no choice but to pack my things and leave again..." I announced silently.

"Why are you always running away?!" he turned his head sharply at me. Napapitlag ako sa biglaang pagtaas ng boses niya. I stepped back and he finally let go of my arms. "Bakit?!"

My lips trembled and my eyes water at his question. Bakit nga ba?

"Mary Grace, not once did I doubt your feelings for me. You separated yourself from the rest of us but it doesn't mean that I'll stop loving you. So why are you doubting me? Bakit hindi ka naniniwala na hindi kita iiwan? It's so fucking ironic for me to spat this words when you were the one who just ran off and left me behind!"

Damang-dama ko ang hinanakit sa boses niya. My knees suddenly felt like Jell-O. I looked for something that can provide support but saw none. So I quietly padded towards the bed and sat on the edge to keep myself together. Harry gazed at me.

"Mary Grace..."

Nagsimula nang tumulo ang mga luha ko. All these years, I burned and buried the ashes of memories inside of my mind. Ayoko nang balikan iyon. Harry, no matter how much I loved him, is burning me again with his presence. Para niyang ipinapaalala sa akin ang nakaraang tinatakasan ko.

"I..." I choked and wiped a tear but it keeps on rolling down my cheeks. "Harry..."

"Please, tell me. Fuck, nababaliw na ako." Ihinilamos niya ang palad sa kanyang mukha. He seems frustrated. "Tell me... Paano kita matutulungan kung hindi mo ako pagkakatiwalaan, Mary Grace? Please..." He literally begged.

Fresh fat tears escaped from my eyes with his words. Napahagulhol ako. Lumapit si Harry sa akin at lumuhod sa harapan ko. He held my hands. "Mary Grace..."

Between sobs, I tried to form an intelligible sentence but failed miserably. Through blurry vision, I saw Harry's glassy eyes and his trembling lips, na para bang pinipigilan niya din ang sarili na umiyak.