I'm wearing a tank top and the scars on my arms are visible. I pray, I don't know who I'm praying too I don't believe in any God but I pray maybe if he is real he will grant me this wish. Don't let anyone notice I beg. I walk into the living room and into my friends arms. His arms went over mine in just a way to cover my scars as he held my hands and gave them a reassuring squeeze. He understood what I was going through his were far worse than mine and not as old, always in a hoodie no matter how hot it was. I leaned my head on his chest my eyes closing as I listened to the steady beat of his heart. A heart so pure it outshined any darkness we faced. I loved him, I thought to myself. He knew I loved him but it would be nothing more than friends who's hearts were so close to breaking the other held them together. I felt tears on my eyes and I made no attempt to wipe them away. If it wasn't for him I would of taken my life by now, he is the only thing keeping me tied to this earth, if he was to die I would not be far behind. His voice is like liquid honey, I don't know what he is saying but I feel the pad of his thumb against my cheek. This is what happiness is, I look up at him, he is drowning as I grin large and wide. "Your always so happy" I laugh and he laughs with me, the sound is like the soft pattern of rain against windows the clash of Thunder interrupting the soft sound every now and again. I don't know what to say to him, he deserves far more than my voice could ever say. He stands and I sink into the couch my arms curling around me. He sits in the corner his fingers danced across a piano, I closed my eyes again the sound chasing away the demons that threatened to corrupt my mind. I hear his voice join in the melody and my body is in liquid fire, my soul is burning, my lungs begging for oxygen that I force away. This is what I dream of. The melody stops as my eyes open and he walks over to me. "If I die will you die with me" it is my voice but I don't recognize it. "Why do you ask such things, what's going on in that head of yours" I shrug and he frowns. I hate seeing him frown. "I love you" his eyes meet mine and for a short moment I wish him to say it back, to love me like he once did but he is silent for a moment. "I know" two words and my word comes crashing down as I sink deeper into the couch. "I know you know" I whisper and I remind myself that he is the only person who would care if I died and I really did hate seeing him frown.
