I sit alone repairing crumbling walls, walls you nearly destroyed letting light in for the first time.
I sit alone my throat tight with screams begging to be heard, my chest nearly cracking down the mild with pain.
I sit alone begging to stop feeling to be numb again to never feel this kind of pain ever again.
I sit alone wondering why you decided to give up on me your star pupil trying the absolute best to succeed and please.
I sit alone wondering what was real and what was said to simply keep me around.
I sit alone with the knowledge that you never deserved me, but I deserved you. I deserved to feel the pain I was putting people through, I deserved to come face to face with a monster I know all too well.
I sit alone knowing you may try to hide it but you did care, I felt how much you cared you can't just get rid of feelings by running from them. That's our problem I wallow in my feelings letting them consume me feeling the absolute worst or best for every little thing. You barely let your feelings touch you, you push it away, running from the vulnerability of feeling something.
I sit alone missing my best friend, not the lover I once knew but the partner I had in life's twisted little game. My supporter ,my advisor my battle buddy was gone and I felt uninspired, lost, missing a piece.
I sit alone knowing that you may never understand how much I love you and the true extent of my loyalty.
I sit alone preparing to begin again.
