Falling in love never felt like this, yes there was all the typical stuff the way they made me smile and the way butterflies would gather in my stomach and I'd get shy around them but this, this was not the same ache, the same need it was somehow more.
It felt like a dog was crawling beneath my skin eager to bend to his will to be good, to please. My brain had opened up into a vast void of night time sky as though I had to create the space to consume him. I had been thinking so small of myself he couldn't fit in the empty space. It felt like being myself like a part of my soul had been returned after years of traveling though valleys of destruction and pain to find me to become one again.
Everything that has ever happened before this had to in order to lead me to this moment. It all slide into place behind my eyes finishing a puzzle that seemed to be unsolvable. Every time he touched me flowers burst into bloom under my skin ripping me apart to grow into something new. A wildfire starting in my heart consuming my organs the air in my lungs become black and filtering out of me in small puffs every time my lips hit his. It was as though I am now protected by the most dangerous of people in the way that no person would ever be able to come to breath my air yet alone place their fingerprints against my pliant skin. It felt as though the sun and moons were spinning around each other in a forever shadowed calm . The voices in my brain were kept at bay to no longer haunt me. The world was now nothing but a small speak compared to the fiery existence he created around me. Safety and fear all in one. Falling in love felt like my skin being peeled away from my bones while the flesh was scorched closed again over and over again until nothing of me was left to consume besides him.
