The Wild Ones Rebellion // Black Veil Brides Fanfiction

25 - Keep On Keepin' On

"This is the time we kill, and fight to find our savior.  The soul we save, we're reckless and in danger. Ohohohohoh ohohohohoh! What's lost is found! This is my vow!" ~ My Vow

.•*•.•*•.•*•.

Two weeks.

It'd been two weeks since the incident at the President's Hotel. Two weeks since Jinxx had been shot, two weeks since I brought him back, despite the warnings.

Two weeks since the building collapsed, taking Andy and Ashley with it.

I couldn't sleep at night. Every time I closed my eyes, I relived it all. The dust, the rain, the debris. My horrible sobs and attempts to dig through the rubble to search for them. CC dragging me away as the sound of helicopters overhead followed us. Running. Constantly running.

It was my fault they were gone. My fault that they died. Had I not saved Jinxx and defied the prophecy, they'd still be with us. Prophecies weren't meant to be tampered with, yet i felt myself too high and mighty, powerful enough to overrule the most absolute rule. By all means, I didn't regret saving Jinxx. I regretted the aftermath.

We didn't say much, and hadn't really since it happened. A few small conversations here and there, making small plans, nothing major. We didn't want to talk about it.

A hole had been ripped in our group. Two of the Wild Ones were dead, The Deviant and the Prophet, our best friends, our brothers. Nothing could fill the gaping chasm in my chest, nothing could relieve the horrendous weight in my heart. We knew that some of us weren't going to make it through this war, but that notion didn't lessen the pain. You can't go on the way you did before, knowing someone you love is gone forever. You can only learn to live with the pain.

I loved Andy. I had fallen for him, hard, and even though he'd changed, I still loved him and wanted to be with him through this. I thought we could make it out of this together, but I realized now I was wrong. He was taken from me, and it was entirely my fault. I was haunted by his memory, and every time I closed my eyes, I saw him. His tall, lean form, his raven black hair, his many tattoos, his perfect and vibrant smile, and his icy blue eyes. I could still hear his deep voice that always had the ability to give me chills and his infectious laugh. It was terrifying to think that someday in the future, these memories would be forgotten. Someday, I'd forget how his voice sounded, or just how blue his eyes were. Time doesn't heal, it erases.

I never got to tell him how I felt. I didn't get to say those three words that had been on my mind for days, but had been in my heart for months. I could still taste them on my tongue like that flavor you taste when you wake up in the morning. Something once so sweet now gone bitter.

I sat on the cold ground in the middle of a small forest, watching the flames of the fire lick the night sky. CC and Jake were asleep beside me, but I knew I wouldn't be getting any rest.  Jinxx was on watch for the next few hours of the night, so he had wandered a little further to keep and eye out, while we sat at the fire.  I stared blankly, my mind wandering from place to place, but each thought was haunted by the loss of Andy and Ashley.  I wasn't sure that I'd ever be able to move on, that I'd ever get over the guilt or the pain.  It seemed never ending.  Perhaps it was.

I continued staring at the fire, but even it seemed to be mocking me at that point, the flicking tendrils of light taking the shape of my friends, of the war, of Fear.  Sometimes I thought i could still hear the screams and the gunshots from that night when we were attacked.  I knew that it was far from the last battle, but I wasn't sure I wanted there to be another battle.