The Wild Ones Rebellion // Black Veil Brides Fanfiction

31 - Fear of the Future

"I'll forget all the dreams that we told our hearts, and the pain that's there to start.  Try to find what is safe from the scars that replaced, like the faithful that converts." ~ The Last One

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I woke up to the sound of Jinxx's voice in my head.

"If you two don't get up in the next few minutes, Ashley is threatening to come in there and drag you out of bed."

We have the morning off, I groaned in my thoughts.  Let us sleep.

"It's already noon, Kat."

Fine.

I sighed, opening my eyes blearily.  Sunlight was peaking through the curtains blocking the large window on the wall across from us, casting everything is a warm glow. I turned my head, finding Andy's face mere inches from mine, eyes closed and sleeping soundly. He looked peaceful and at ease; I hated to wake him up, but we had work to do, as always.

I leaned in, kissing him gently, and his blue eyes fluttered open.

"Morning," I said with a smile.

He smiled back tiredly, dark hair falling in his face. "Morning. Is it time to get up?"

I nodded. "Apparently Ashley is threatening to come drag us out of bed."

He chuckled. "I guess we ought to get moving then." He leaned in, pecking my lips again before sitting up, the covers falling from his shoulders and revealing his bare, scarred chest. My hand reached up, tracing the variety of raised lines and bumps: the gunshot wound to his chest from the President's Hotel, the shot to his shoulder from Johnson, and the multiple injuries from raids and battles throughout the war.  There weren't many of them, but there were enough, enough to remind me of my failures.

"How many times do I have to remind you that these aren't your fault?" Andy said, gazing at me with his intense, icy eyes.

"How did you know I was thinking about that?"

"You were frowning while tracing them. That's always the cue that you're feeling guilty."

"How can I not feel guilty?" I sighed, sitting up beside him.  "You got these because of my failures."

Andy shook his head gently.  "I got these because of my own stupidity.  Your inability to heal them isn't your fault.  Besides," he said, eyeing the many scars littering my own skin, "you wouldn't have those if it weren't for me."

I frowned. "It wasn't your fault, Andy."

"And these weren't yours." His hand tilted my head up to look at him, and he leaned in to kiss me lightly. "Stop blaming yourself for every bad thing that happens, okay?" I nodded, and he got up, his tall frame casting a long shadow across the bed. "I'm going to go shower and change."

He walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind him, and I waited patiently for him to finish before I went in and took a shower of my own. The cool water rushed through my long, black hair, and over my small body. I could feel the many raised marks on my skin from that month I'd spent a captive in the Worship House, but the memories weren't as fresh as they once were. They didn't remind me of the pain or loneliness, just that I was happy to have gotten away with my life. While I had been there, I couldn't have cared less if I died, but now, I could only be grateful that I hung on because my persistence lead me back to Andy and to the guys.

It had been 19 months since the guys rescued me. The smaller scars were beginning to fade or had already disappeared, but the larger ones that I hadn't been able heal right away after my escape, like the lashes on my back, the cuts on my forearms, and the gashes across my abdomen had turned into jagged scars marring my skin. I sighed, turning off the water, drying myself, and slipping into my clothes for the day: black camo pants, combat boots, a black tank top, and my Legion jacket.