dear diary | shefani

Entry Two

Entry Two

Dear Diary,

The only reason I'm writing in this stupid diary is because m therapist is making me.

That's right-I have a therapist! My mom finally had enough with my moping and organized for me to see a therapist once a week to talk about my "struggles."

"So, Gwen," the therapist, Ellen, began. "What's been going on?"

"Nothing," I glared.

"Your mom mentioned some boyfriend troubles?" she asked.

I sighed. "Ex-boyfriend. He's my ex-boyfriend."

"Ah," she nods, writing something down on her paper pad. "What caused you two to break up?"

"He cheated on me with some junior," I hissed, hating to even think about it.

"Yikes," she noted. "And how old is he?"

"Twenty-two," I answer.

Her eyes widen a little. "Damn, okay."

I sigh again. "I was a freshman when I met him. He was a senior, so of course I was interested that he was going after me. I shouldn't have been so stupid. Why did I think he actually loved me?"

She nodded. "High school relationships are stressful."

I scoff. "Can you even call it a relationship? He only used me for my body and for some reason, I followed him around like a lost puppy."

"Gwen," she began. "You can't blame yourself for what happened. What he did was his choice. He was just too stupid to realize what he had."

"That's the thing," a lump in my throat began to form. "I keep blaming myself, and no one understands."

"No one may understand," the therapist shrugged. "So, how are you going to cope with this?"

"Stay in my room for the rest of my life," I stated.

"No," Ellen rolled her eyes. "How about this; you write in a journal about your daily activities. Writing's a good coping skill."

She handed me a journal from her desk. "Whatever. See you next time." then, I got up and left.

Not going to lie, writing this diary actually kind of helps. It's a way to pour out my emotions without having to tell anyone.

Not that I had anyone to tell.

Okay, that's a lie. I have Pharrell, Christina, and Alicia. I also had a friend, Celine, who graduated last year. And, of course, I have my freshman friends Miley and Selena. I don't feel comfortable telling them how I feel, though.

So, diary. It's just you and me.

Until next time,
Gx