dear diary | shefani

Entry Twenty-Three

Entry Twenty-Three

Dear Diary,

I'm being completely honest when I say that I don't know where Blake and I stand.

We've gotten over the dance situation, somewhat. There's no arguments between us at all. But, I still regret what I said that night.

Now the whole school knows we've had sex together.

It shouldn't be a big deal, I don't know why it is. But, sex is like a god in high school. It always comes up in conversations. I guess there's something that draws teenagers to the idea of two people banging. The only ones who don't seem blinded by sexual talk is the chastity kids who only talk about god.

I totally respect they're views, I'm christian myself. But nobody wants to hear about how pure you are.

"Are you stupid?" Alicia hisses at me. It's the Monday after the dance, and the school is buzzing about what went down with Miranda and I.

"What?" I roll my eyes. I'm not in the mood for Alicia's cynical statements.

"You don't just tell the entire school that you fucked the new kid!" Alicia says, like it's obvious.

"What was a I supposed to do?" I stress. "She acted like she was the only one who could sleep with him. I wasn't just gonna let her talk shit and away with it!"

Alicia groans. "You just made it worse, Gwen! Now that girl is going to target you."

"How?" I laugh sarcastically. "Is she going to dedicate the rest of her life to making sure I'm never happy? Is she going to steal my lunch money? Is she going talk about me behind my back? Give me a break."

"How are you not taking this seriously?" Alicia sneers.

Oh my god. "Because it doesn't matter! People talk about who slept with who all the time, this is no different! If Miranda really tries to do something to me, then I'll just tell someone."

"You'll tell them about how you two got in a fist fight over a boy?" Alicia huffs. "You hit her, Gwen. That's at least a few days of suspension."

I shrug. "It's not like I'd be paying attention in class, anyway."

"That's besides the point," Alicia snaps. "You broke one of the rules of high school!"

I laugh. "The rules of high school? Is there some sort of Bible I didn't know about?"

"You've never heard the rules?" Alicia asks.

"No," I roll my eyes.

"Even I've heard them!" Alicia raises her brow. "They're unspoken rules, of course. Everyone understands them, so they don't need to be talked about."

"Well," I begin. "I guess I missed the memo."

"One of the rules is to lay off the new kid," Alicia whispers.

"You have to be kidding me," I look at one of my best friends. "This is a joke, right? Because, this is the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

"Why would I be making this up?" Alicia scoffs. "It's some dumb way to make sure nobody sleeps with a new kid right away. So, everyone gets their chance to meet them or something."

"That's so stupid," I roll my eyes again.

"I never said it wasn't," Alicia mutters. "But, I'm sure there's some girls that will be actually pissed at you. Watch your back, and Blake's."

"Why is this place so fucked?" I groan.

"Who knows," Alicia sighs.

"I'll be fine," I claim. "Winter break is in two days, so I won't have to see any of these fucks for two weeks. Maybe by then, people will forget about it. If they don't, well, I only have a few months in this hell hole, anyway."

Thank God for being a senior.

Until next time,
Gx.

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