30 Doors

29th Door

"Some infinities are bigger than other infinities." -John Green

∞

166:45:05 hrs

The infinity symbol.

That what's welcomed us as we enter the 29th floor. Isang malaking ∞ symbol ang bumungad saamin sa lobby ng 29th production floor. Kagaya ng 30th floor, wala rin kaming naabutang mga empleyado doon. The 29th floor was the executive room. Ito ang main office ng mga executives. Dito naglalagi ang CEO, ang Pesident at Vice pati ang mga major stock holders ng kompanya.

What's with the infinity symbol? Noong last time na bumisita ako sa 29 floor kung saan nagkaroon ako ng presentation with the bosses, ang nakalagay lang sa lobby ay ang logo ng Montellano Online Shop --isang malaking letter 'M' na nakapaloob sa isang paper bag na pula. Now why would the higher management replace that with the infinity sign?

Weird.

Is it trying to remind me everything about my past? Am I hallucinating? Am I thinking about her too much these past days? How I lost her, my fiancé who I loved more than anything and who happened to love the symbol. She almost had it tattooed on her left wrist. I was a bit skeptical about the idea of her having a print on her body. Para saakin madumi kasing tignan. But she was persistent that time because of her devotion to the unearthly concept of infinity, endlessness and limitless opportunities is best presented by a mathematical symbol '8' or the lemniscate. She's always telling me that the symbol binds us to infinity.

But it wasn't true.

It was because of her kung bakit nandito ako sa MOS. It was a huge sacrifice; a decision I had to make. I had to leave the old life I got used to. I was happy living that old routine I had back in Cebu. I was happy and contented with her. Pero kailangan ko lang talagang lumuwas. Para sa pangarap namin.

Para sa kanya.

The offer given to me here was financially rewarding. I had to work here para makapag-ipon.

Gaya ng sabi ng karamihan, para sa future. So, I had to leave Cebu and work here in Manila for quite some time. Working away from her was a bit difficult. I became busy and workaholic until we both realized that were growing apart.

We grew apart.

Hanggang sa tuluyan na kaming maghiwalay. She initiated it. I tried to hold on but shes on it. She wanted it over. Biglaan.

So para saan pa't kailangan kong maniwala sa isang simbolo kung mismong ang taong pinanghahawakan ito ay kusang bumitaw?

"Dude. Ang lalim ng iniisip mo ah!" tinabig ako ni Kid. Naputol ang pagbabalik tanaw ko.

"I was thinking about my old life. Moments like this make me nostalgic. Makes me wanna go back to my old self," paliwanag ko.

Umiling-iling ang lalaki saka bumuntong hininga. Nakapamulsa ito para maitago ang hanggang ngayo'y nanginginig niyang mga kamay. "I was a freelance artist before. Matumal ang kita kaya pumasok ako dito nang makareceive ako ng email sa jobstreet. After all what I've seen, mas gugustuhin ko na lang bumalik sa luma kong studio. Kahit walang masyadong kita, atleast safe ka."

"No place is safe," sabat ni Minalyn na nasa di kalayuan. Bumalik na naman ito sa pagiging poker face niya. "You only realize you're no longer safe when your breathing is bargained."