30 Doors

25th Door

"Sometimes even to live is an act of courage." -Seneca
***

Hinihingal akong lumabas ng elevator. Mabilis kong tinakbo ang main door ng 25th floor kung saan nakakabit sa tapat nito ang isang black box na may markang bungo. Everything seemed to have been plotted perfectly, I silently stressed.

Tumunog ang black box nang tumapat ako dito na tila awtomatiko nitong na-scan ang presensya ko. Bumukas ang disk reader nito. Kinapa ko ang kanina'y nakuha kong disk mula sa 26th. Ipinasak ko ito sa lagayan na kusang tinanggap ang disk.

'Access granted.' A robotic voice confirmed the disk. The door automatically opened for me.

Mabilis akong pumasok. Ang 25th floor ay ang sleeping quarters ng Montellano Tower. May sleeping quarters din sa 15th floor at sa 5th floor base sa impormasyong nasagap ko noong unang araw ko sa kompanya at nagkaroon ng building tour. Now what do we have to deal with here? Are we all going to die in our sleep?

Naabutan kong nakaupo ang mga empleyado sa mga kamang naroon. Ang iba'y nakaupo sa sofa na nasa kaliwang bahagi habang si Claina ay nakaupong mag-isa sa matted floor kung saan nagmemedicate ang mga empleyado. Tulala ang ginang habang nakaupo. Parang hindi pa rin ito makapaniwala sa mga pangyayari. She's seen her niece dead. Beside her. She died of brutality and yet she cannot find any reason why such thing would happen to Emerald.

Sinenyasan ako ni Zyril na kausapin si Claina. Ngumuso pa ito sa direksyon ng ginang habang nakaupo sa sofa. Dahan-dahan ko itong nilapitan. Walang nagtangkang lapitan siya. marahil ay hindi rin alam kung paano pakikitunguhan ang isang taong puno ng takot, gulat at kalungkutan. Mr. Laryson Perey should have talked to her. He knows how to handle people with such situation. Pero parang pagod na din ang lalaki na nakaupo sa gilid ng kamang malapit sa bintana. Nakatanaw doon ang lalaki at mukhang umiiyak. he's probably missing his kids.

Everyone seem to be very devastated. It is very understandable that each one of us on the 25th is on a state of shock. Shock is an understatement. We've been ripped. Ripped from the peaceful life that we used to call boring and useless.

I cleared my throat as I sat beside Claina who was still mute and and seemingly fragile to any further emotional damage. Lumuluha ito at halos basa na ang damit dahil sa dami ng iniyak. I hate seeing people cry. I have had a lot of people cry over things. I have had a lot of people crying over me, over their disappointments, over the things they regret. But who can blame Claina? Who could stop this woman from crying if this is the only refuge or a form of therapy she can take right now?

She sobbed and sulk in to the sadness she's been containing. Without looking at me she said, "Vlad, I have been strong for too long. But this, this thing that's happened is making me weak again. It's making me cry. It's reminding me that I am still vulnerable to pain."

'"Claina, I'm sorry for your loss." I paused and heaved a heavy breathing, "Just let it drop, just cry. That a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit; but don't let your devastation feed from you. Tatalunin ka ng kalungkutan mo kapag hinayaan mo. Let yourself be wasted, but don't forget to gather your pieces."

"Emerald, she's like my daughter. She's very innocent. She's very kind. Wala siyang inagrabyado, atleast that's one thing that I know simula noong maulila siya at manirahan sa poder ko." Humagulgol ito. Her palm covered her face. "Binigo ko ang kapatid ko. Binigo ko si Emerald. She died in my arms and the worst thing is, hindi ko alam kung paano ko siya hahanapan ng hustisya."