DIPHYLLEIA GRAYI(SORAMAFU)

8.5 [EXTRA]

I want to die.

         That particular thought kept entering the young boy's mind, and Soraru sighed, his eyes fluttering close. His friends are talking without him again, and Soraru wanted nothing but to join into their conversation. However, when he turned to look at them, they were busy chatting about something that even Soraru had lost track of. The thirteen year old sighs, resting his head on the palm of his hand, and directed his attention to the scenery outside the window.
         He felt absolutely lonely and bored at this point. His eyes goes to the science book that rested in front of him on the desk, contemplating whether to pick it up and read it or not. He decided against it, not in the mood as they only finished their exams last week. Studying is not in his best interest at this moment. He regretted not leaving his sketchbook and novel back home- he could have done something then.
        But, no, instead he is stuck here, staring out the window, whilst Suzumu, Lon and Anku chatted about idle things. He longed to join them in their chat, but he does not want to seem too desperate. Soraru sighs slowly, finally resigning himself to eavesdrop on them as he tried to comprehend what they are talking about.

        "Hey!" An arm slung over his shoulder, and Soraru turned slightly. He smiled gratefully as he saw Hashiyan, and greeted him. "Hey," he laughed, and Hashiyan nudged him over, squeezing into the small chair with Soraru. The three sitting next to the pair of boys had gone silent, staring at the new arrival with wide eyes. It was a few moment before Suzumu broke into a grin. "Finally decided to grace us with your presence?" He asked in a teasing tone and Soraru rested his head on Hashiyan's shoulder. "Don't be mean," he says, and Hashiyan grins. "Look, Soraru supports me!" He sang, and Lon pouts. "Don't kid around, Sorarun is at our side, right?" She looks at Soraru, whom just smiled. "I'm staying neutral," he replies, and Hashiyan laughs. "That meant he is on mine."
      "Stop," Soraru whines childishly, but he enjoyed the conversation. Unable to stop himself, he smiles, and closed his eyes.

He wished he can freeze this moment to be savored forever.

*°*°*

         "Bye!" Soraru calls, and walked to his mother's car. Getting in, he smiles at his mother, and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Hey," he says, and she smiles in return. "How's school?" she asked, and he shrugged. "Its fine," he replied, and his mother nodded. "Did you make any new friends?" She persists, and Soraru sighed. "Yeah," he lies, his eyes fluttering close as he listened to the radio.
          When they reached home, Soraru got out, grabbing his bag from the back seat and waited for his mom to catch up. She gave him her keys, and told him about their menu tonight, in which Soraru smiled and responded to. Once the door is opened, Soraru couldn't help but notice a dark atmosphere. He slid closer to his mother, whom just glanced around worriedly before placing her bag on the kitchen counter. "Mom, did you fight with Neru again?" Soraru muttered, as he dropped his bag at a corner, eyes going to meet his mother's. "He is a disrespectful son- just because he is already sixteen doesn't mean he is an adult," she sighs in response, before walking to the rice cooker to check on the rice. "Call your brother down, would you? It's time for dinner."
         Soraru nodded, rushing upstairs towards his and his brother's shared room. Pushing it open, he saw his brother on his phone and coughed to get his attention. "Hey- it's time for dinner." Neru snickered at something on his phone, completely ignoring Soraru, and the younger walked to him, shaking him a little. "Its time for dinner!" He shouts a little, and Neru glared at him. "Fucking pig," he mutters before shoving Soraru aside. Given his smaller size, Soraru fell, and Neru glared at him. "Stop acting, bitch," he said, before turning to the exit.
         Soraru felt sick to the stomach, losing his appetite to eat. Unwanted tears fell as he crawled to his bed, curling on top of it. He reached for a small box at the side of his bed, and popped it open, taking out a small razor. He hesitated, knowing that this behavior his is wrong, but he placed it on his skin, tears still falling from his eyes, and added pressure, until blood seeps out. He can hear his brother's irritated voice calling him from below, and Soraru wiped hastily at his eyes, in which his tears had seemed to stop.
         He then walked out, making sure to keep this left wrist face down, and entered the dining room. "Why are you so slow?" Neru snapped, and Soraru felt the pressure to cry again, but he forced a smile. He knew his brother is just in a bad mood, he knew he shouldn't do anything that will further rile him, thus he just grunted. "Sorry," he murmurs, but his mother just waved it aside. "Let's eat, boys," she says, and they both nod, picking up their cutlery.

This flashback is necessary to show y'all how he began cutting himself.
-aru