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550 43 26

by lovejjong

by lovejjong

Next morning, Soraru woke up earlier than usual, staring up at the ceiling. He groaned, sitting up and pushing his blankets aside. He grabbed his phone, scrolling down his music before settling down on a song he liked. He set it down on the study table, turning the volume up and padded to the adjoining bathroom. Before doing anything else, however, Soraru stepped on top of the weighing scale, and his eyes widened with panic. The want to cry rose in him, and Soraru bit down on his bottom lip with enough force to break skin. 75 kg. He had gained weight, and now, he wanted to cry.
Nevertheless, he brushed his teeth and took a shower, before wrapping himself with his fluffy bathrobe, walking back to his bedroom, his mind still caught at the accursed numbers he saw on the scale.

I'm so fucking fat.

Soraru opened his cupboard and stared hard at his new clothes, a hand touching the fabric. Usually, he wouldn't spend much time on his appearance, but he had to today, since Hashiyan has left yesterday with a stern warning to dress up today. He grabbed the clothes Hashiyan have threw to him and begun to dress himself. He is dressed in a pair of black jeans and an oversized black sweater that shows a small peek of Soraru's temporary tattoo. He was supposed to wear the new destroyed jeans Hashiyan had bought, but he couldn't bring himself to wear anything that exposed his skin. Just in case, he grabbed a long black coat, and draped it over his arm, moving out of his room and towards the kitchen.
He stopped in his tracks when he saw the breakfast laid on top of the table, his heart beginning to beat at a rapid, painful pace. He moved to the kitchen anyway, hands baking as he poured himself a glass of plain water. "Eat, Soraru, I made you breakfast," his mother's voice broke through his thoughts and he gave a violent shake of his head. "N-no. I'm not hungry," he replies, taking a sip of the water before setting it down on the kitchen counter. He turned towards the family members and gnawed on his lip. The food placed on the table looks so delicious, but he forced himself to walk past it. He dropped his coat on the couch, and mumbled something about leaving his bag upstairs, and escaped to his room before his parents can ask more questions.
Back in his room, Soraru stood in front of the full-length mirror for a few minutes, twisting and turning his body here and there as he stared at his reflection. He pinched his thighs, criticising softly about how fat he looks in these jeans, before frowning and looking away. He grabbed his bag and made his way downstairs, pulling his coat over his shoulders nd calling out a goodbye without even turning towards them.

Soraru walked to Hashiyan's house- it was barely a ten minutes walk- and smiled, when he saw Hashiyan already outside. "There you go!" He exclaimed happily, before grinning. "I'm fetching Mafu as well, you don't mind, right?" Soraru shook his head, getting into Hashiyan's car. "Can we stop by a cafe on our way there? I need my caffeine," Soraru sighs, as he strapped on the seat belt. Hashiyan glanced at him, before nodding. " Call one cup for me as well," Hashiyan replies, as they drove to Mafu's place first.
On their way there, they stopped by a drive through, Soraru ordering a cup of cold brew for himself, latte for Hashiyan, and a cup of mocha for Mafu. He had no idea what to get Mafu, but Hashiyan had told him to get mocha, and so he did. When they reached Mafu's house, the blonde was already waiting for them outside. Mafu quickly got in, picking up the cup of coffee they placed in the cup holder. "Do you mind if I eat breakfast? I haven't eaten anything," Mafu asked from the back, and Hashiyan said yes. The smell of food wafted into soraru's nose, making his stomach growl, and the man flushed, eyes trained on his shoes.
"Did you eat, Soraru-san?" Mafu's voice is soft, but it was enough to bring tears to Soraru's eyes. He glared at the dashboard, before replying with a curt "yes." The silence that followed after was suffocating, as Soraru struggled to not cry, Hashiyan gripping the wheel with some kind of force, and Mafu quietly eating at the back. "Do you want one?" Mafu finally inquired, passing his tupperware, filled with sandwiches towards Soraru, and the other male pouted.
"No, I'm not hungry," Soraru sighs, turning to give Mafu the tupperware. "But thanks for asking, Mafu-san," he smiled, and Mafu nods, biting into the bread. "Sure," the blonde replies after chewing, and have Soraru a big grin.

Soraru felt his heart flutter at that.

a/n : i hate feeling this way when i wake up and the first thing i do is look at the scale, but it's more to a habit to make myself feel bad just kill me now
-aru