Soraru sat in the car, listening to Mafu and Hashiyan's casual banter as he stared out the window. "I'm hungry," Hashiyan sighs, and Soraru frowned. "I thought you ate," Mafu replies, and Hashiyan pouted. "Doesn't mean I can't eat more," he countered, with a sharp glance at Soraru, whom flushed. Mafu, on the other hand, stretched his arms lazily and slid down the seat. "That shirt fits you really well, Soraru-san!" Mafu exclaimed, and the conversation turned a hundred and eighty degree to Soraru, whom cleared his throat uncomfortably. "I know right!" Hashiyan exclaimed happily, his eyes crinkling with joy. "You looked really hot!" He directed the sentence to Soraru, making his cheeks flame up. "I'm not," he mutters, twisting his fingers together. "Tomorrow, you should wear that shirt I bought you," Hashiyan continues, reaching over to squeeze Soraru's hand. Mafu watched the exchange with lowered brows, before huffing a little. Soraru looked away from Hashiyan. He knew which shirt, exactly, is Hashiyan talking about, but he had been too embarrassed to wear it. It was a striped mock turtleneck, and Hashiyan told him to pair it with the destroyed jeans and a black coat. Soraru sighs, before giving a sharp nod. "I'll wear it. Just not tomorrow," he says, hearing Hashiyan's loud whoop and Mafu's confused 'what? What?' He couldn't help but to allow a smile escape, his eyes fluttering close.
When they reached, Hashiyan had escaped, under the reason of finding Naruse. Apparently, the pink-haired man and him had exchanged numbers, and Hashiyan had found out that the tattooist is a student here, already in his last year. He left Mafu and Soraru alone in the parking lot, and Mafu laughed awkwardly. "Well," he says, turning to look at Soraru before gesturing for him to walk ahead, but the shorter make scowled. "Why can't we walk together?" He grumbled, and a look of surprise passed Mafu's face, before he chuckled. "Sure, come on, then," he laughs, and they walked slowly towards the campus. "Are you and Hashiyan dating?" Mafu finally inquired, and Soraru sputtered, his cheeks going apple red. "No!" He almost yelled, and the blonde smiled slowly. "No?" He asked, red colour dusted over his cheeks. "We aren't, we are just friends," Soraru sighs, rubbing his arm. "But both of you are so close.." "why can't we be close friends?" Soraru interrupted, and Mafu paled. "I'm kidding, jeez," Soraru burst out laughing, and Mafu smiled sheepishly. "Sorry," he mumbles, and the shorter shook his head. "Its okay," he replies, and they continued their walk silently. When they entered, Soraru shivered a little from the blast of the air conditioner. "Is it cold?" Mafu asked, pulling Soraru's black coat- he had shucked to the back of Hashiyan's car without much thought, and draped it over Soraru's shoulder. That action caused Soraru to blush, and he pulled the ends of the coat closer to his chest. "Thanks," he mumbles, and Mafu hums, before spotting Kashitaro. "Hey, gotta go," he tells Soraru, whom followed his line of sight and waved at Kashitaro. "Sure," he says, and Mafu smiled at him before running towards the other man.
In class, however, Suzumu and Lon had chatted without even noticing his appearance. He observed the exchange silently, before sitting down slowly. Anku had been absent today, and the two friends, even if they have obviously noticed his appearance, they had carried on without paying him any heed. Soraru felt a little hurt, but stayed silent, before Hashiyan finally joined them. "Hey," he says, and Suzumu smiled at him. "Soraru, have you told them?" Hashiyan asks, and Soraru turned his head a little. "No," he mutters, and Lon raised her eyebrows. "What?" She asked, and Soraru shook his head. "Nothing," he replies curtly, standing up and walking away from the group of friends. It was already the end of his class, Lon and Suzumu still had classes in the afternoon, and Soraru shook Hashiyan off. "I don't want to tell them yet," he says sharply, and Hashiyan sighs. "I know they had been ignoring you, but you know that's how they are sometimes," he says, and Soraru chewed on his lip. "I feel so unwanted," he finally confesses, angry tears bluring his sight. Hashiyan placed an arm over his shoulder, kissing his cheek. "Don't worry, when we're both old, wrinkly and single, I'll consider marrying you," he winked and Soraru couldn't help the laugh that escaped his lips.
*°*°*
When Soraru reached home, he held the phone, and tapped on his instagram app with his eyes lowered. With a small sigh, he began typing.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
We will be friends forever, okay?" was what someone had told me earlier this year. I don't believe them, because I think the friendship is breaking now. A friendship is supposed to be upheld by two or more, not one. It felt like I was the only one trying in this friendship. Maybe I didn't try hard enough, maybe I didn't take the initiative to talk to them first, but I try to do that all the time. I'm tired- tired of pretending to be happy when all you do is ignore me. I feel like I'm intruding whenever I see secretive looks and you guys talking amongst yourself. I felt lonely, and even though it isn't a romantic relationship, I honestly felt like I was third-wheeling. So I take a step back. I talk to others, try to look busy- so you guys wouldn't have to huddle up and whisper. It may seem like I'm angry, but if you think that I am, then maybe you don't know me that well. I want to stop- I know that such a long friendship, that I couldn't bring myself to break it off. So I held it in. I stopped myself from lashing out hone you left me to talk amongst yourselves. I crushed the feelings of anger and loneliness, busying myself with studies and other people. I hate that you would think I'm transparent for three hours or so, then realized I'm still there, silently doing my thing, and decided to talk to me. When I didn't respond as quick enough, you think I'm in a bad mood. Is it true that only you can ignore me, but not the other way round? Secrets started to build up, whispers amongst yourselves increases in magnitude. Distance between us increases and eventually, communication failed. It felt like there is a wall between us, it felt like I'm just the air, until you decided to give me three seconds of your attention. Wow. How am I supposed to give you my attention when all you do is ignore me? At the end of the day, friends is just temporary. Promises to stay forever will break eventually, just like the friendship ties bonding me to you. This post is long so thanks for reading it.
He pressed on the screen, posting the picture, together with the long caption, and threw his phone aside, dropping on the bed.
No going back now.
a/n : the last post is really the thing I've posted online, fuck the friends, y'all will know what shit's going down in the following chapter.
also, here you go, some srmf moment. hashiyan and srr is literally me and my friend, we make all these promises once we are 70 and single, we should get married lmao
