love ; bill denbrough

10

Cass

The whole school day, Bill insisted on staying with me after the Bowers incident yesterday. In Henry's presence, Bill would grab hold of my hand, tightening his jaw and standing just that little bit taller, but Henry and his minions hadn't even glanced in my direction all day.

"Hey can I talk to Cass for a sec?" Richie put a hand on Bill's arm and smiled politely. Politely. What's this kid planning?

"Sure." The word barely left Bill's lips before Richie pulled me into a small janitor's closet.

"You see that? You see that, Cass?"

"See what, Tozier?" I laughed slightly.

"Bill. He's been with you all day. He even used to go the long way home from school to avoid Henry, and now every chance he gets to look the kid in the eye, he takes it. Stupid fucker. He really does like you, Cass, I know i'm right." He adjusted his glasses on his face.

"Richie. We're just friends. Yes, he may care about me sincerely, but in no way, shape or form, does he love me." I sighed.

"Do you like Bill?" He asked, a small smile on his face.

"What? No. Ew. Gross." A/N: DO U LIKE ELEVEN NOW? 

I tried my hardest to pretend that I didn't like Bill. I told myself that I didn't like him, but I did. Deep down, you could even say I loved Bill, but we're too young for anything like that to happen, and I doubt the feelings would be returned.

"Okay, Miss Corcoran." He smirked. "I very much doubt that you're telling the truth, but i'll take it as is." 

"Thank you, Mr Tozier." I smiled at the big-eyed boy. He knew that I liked Bill, and for some reason I was glad. Sounds silly, being glad that the big-mouth could potentially ruin your friendship with your crush because he lets your secret slip, but I knew he wouldn't unless he knew the outcome. Unless he genuinely thought there was a chance for us two. 

He held the door open for me, where Bill waited on the other side.

"Let's get home." Bill smiled, but I only frowned. My parents were home tonight from their business trips. Who knows how they're going to punish me for letting Teddy go out on his own.

"Yeah, okay." I smiled, following Bill and Richie out to the bike stand. My bike was still being fixed as this morning, Mike and Stan had kindly retrieved it from the river and taken it a bicycle shop, so for now I was riding with Bill.

We all got on our bikes and did the usual, chatted, insulted and giggled. Not me though. I rested my head on Bill's back as he rode home. I wasn't nervous, I was terrified. After all it was my fault. Teddy's dead because of me. Maybe.

We stopped at Bill's house and he himself helped me off of his bike. I thanked him and attempted to snap myself out of my sinister thoughts, joining in on friendly banter with the boys, but I just couldn't.

I should've gone out with Teddy. I should've been there with him and his little sailing boat, running along in the rain with him. What's the worst that would've happened with his big sister by his side. A cold? I'm not concerned with my punishment, they could beat me black and blue, but the damage I would do to myself would be worse. Teddy. Little Teddy, he's missing because of me.

"Cass, Cass?" Bill shook my shoulder and put his hands at the side of my face, wiping tears that must've slipped during thought.

"Shit," I muttered as I felt more tears streaming. I didn't want everyone seeing me like this, so I ran across the lawn into my own house. I heard Bill's heavy footsteps behind me, but they slowed when he realised space would be best for me right now.

:::

I sat on my window ledge looking out onto the street. Misty-eyed, I stared at the stars that hang low above the houses of Derry. There seems to be half as many stars in the sky tonight and it just makes me wonder, where has my star gone? 

My parents aren't home yet and I don't know why. I've had time to clear my thoughts, enough so I've stopped crying, but now there's a hole in my soul, in my heart. I don't think anyone can fix it.

"Cass?" I looked down and there stood Bill, a full, heavy-looking backpack on his back and flowers in his hand. I knew what he wanted.

I pulled myself off of the ledge and went downstairs, unlocking the door and letting him in. He dropped his backpack off of his back which almost put a hole through the floor and then he set the flowers in my hand. "I brought sn-nacks, and I hop-pe you're o-okay."

Without warning, he pulled me in tight for a hug, his one hand going to the small of my back and the other caressing my hair.

"Don't do that." He whispered, his voice cracking slightly. It sounded like he was crying?

"Bil-" He cut me off again.

"Don't do that again." It was clear that he was in fact crying now, which only made me cry too.

Before I could talk again, Bill picked my legs up and carried me upstairs. He put me onto the bed and he lay down next to me, his arm draped around my waist. "What-t hap-ppened b-back there?"

"Teddy. Bill, it's my fault. I let him go out on his own and he could be dead because of me." I felt a single tear slide down my cheek.

"You don't think I feel the same? Georgie's gone too." He drew light circles just above my hip.

"My star, my little star. I've lost my little star." I muttered.

"I lost my little star too," Bill smiled sadly referring to his missing younger brother. "But I found another one. Another little star that's going through the same as I am right now. Another, gorgeous, beautiful, intelligent, amazing, little star that I wouldn't change for the world." He twirled the hair that draped across my face in between his finger tips.

It was then I realised we had somehow gotten incredibly close, his nose was now touching my own as he stared deep into my eyes. "We'll get them back, I promise." He smiled. "Now, get some sleep. I'm here."

I closed my eyes and I knew that Bill was still watching me, but I was incredibly tired and very flustered at what just happened. I can only hope he doesn't notice. I still felt his breath on my face and the light patterns being drawn on my hips. Before being lulled off, I heard one last thing.

"Goodnight, my little star."

A/N: I feel like it's rushed? Sorry. But, it's ya girl's bday so i thought an update was WAYYYY overdue:):):)