love ; bill denbrough

20

Bill

I woke in a cold sweat, pencil gripped tightly in my hand. Another bad dream, the worst actually. Another dream where I had to choose between Cass and Georgie. It had recently occurred to me that this was my worst fear, having to choose between the 2 people that mattered most to me. I knew it was only dream, but I could not seem to compose myself fully until 5 minutes after waking. There I lay, staring at a drip on my bedroom ceiling that dripped directly down onto the drawing of Cass I was working on. It smeared the golden brown oil paint I had so carefully added on, but it was so abstract I almost liked it more. 

Then, a childish giggle erupted, drawing my focus to my open bedroom door and a flash of yellow moving through it for just a moment. Georgie. I was not groggy from my light nap, I knew it was not my imagination. I sprung up from my bed, leaving tossed over bed sheets in my wake.

"G-Georgie?" I called, sprinting down the stairs after the small, yet swift yellow figure. He lead me to the basement. He ran fast as he ever had in his little wellington boots and yellow raincoat, wading through knee-deep water that clogged my basement. "Georgie." I breathed, my eyes filling with water. It was him, I could see his face clearly now, as cute and angelic as it had ever been. 

"Bill, come with me." He smiled and I waited for elaboration, or at least for something that wasn't completely ridiculous to spring to mind. "You'll float too."

"Georgie." 

"You'll float too." He giggled, obviously unknowing that I had no idea what he was talking about. "You'll float too, you'll float too." Each time he chanted, he seemed more maniacal, not the Georgie I knew. He continued chanting, his boyish grin started to literally decay from his face, his cheekbones hollowed and his eyes sunk into his skull. The skin began to wither, leaving just enough to know it was a human face.

Then, I saw a head in the water. Not human, a head that could only belong to an It. Oddly shaped and absolutely horrific to anyone, no matter how much of a macho man you are, this thing would make you crap your pants and call for your mama. It's eyes glowed a bright, unreal green, strangely not reflecting on the surface of the water, unlike the rest of his face. You know the old saying, 'eyes are the window to the soul'. I think it was safe to assume this thing didn't have one. It emerged, bringing forth a huge 7 foot body with it. It was a clown, dirty ruffles on his suit soaked in blood of how many victims. He pulled from out of the water a very human head, Cass's head, severed at the neck. He held her by her hair, her eyes were closed and she was a pale grey. I couldn't move from my spot on the basement stairs so the best thing to do was imagine I was just staring at her sleeping frame and not her dead one. My hand flew to my mouth and I immediately felt hot tears running down my face. This reaction seemed like an insult more than anything, I wanted nothing more than to die with Cass right then and there and tears just seemed inadequate for my princess.

Then, it clicked. I had no reason to stay, that thing was not Georgie and I suddenly felt it was no point anyway. First I lost Georgie and now Cass. This was just God's way of saying this earth isn't meant for me. Sort of a 'Hey kid, I know I put you down there, but I need you back so I'll do everything in my power to strip you of everything you've ever cared about' thing. I sprinted from my basement, trudging stagnant water up through my house as I ran out to my front yard.

"F-f-fuck!" I shouted, squeezing my eyes shut and covering my ears with my wrists, pulling at the ends of my hair and just sobbing. I fell to my knees and just continued to yell that one word as if i'd been taught no more of them.

I felt a light pair of hands on my shoulders, tracing fingers down my back and arms wrapped around me tight. "Bill!" The person managed to pry my hands away from my head, as I kept my eyes shut, rocking backwards and forwards slightly, just sobbing. "Bill! It's 3am, tell me what's wrong, sweetheart." I knew that voice but it felt too good to be true. I'd just seen her severed head. "Bill! Baby it's me, it's me." She spoke soothingly into my ear and I was placed between her legs, the held me tight with my head in the crook of her neck, rocking backwards and forwards slightly with me. "Shh, shh. I'm here, just calm down." 

The night air nipped at my bare arms, I felt her silk nightgown wrap around me as we became one in the fabric. I didn't know what was real and I hoped this was it, I wrapped my own arms around her, crying into her neck as I felt her fingers run through the hair at the nape of my neck.