i'm gonna love you through it | alemanda ✔

[chapter nine]

Amanda

IT HAD BEEN THREE days since the double mastectomy and Alesha told me that the doctors had to take more than what they had planned. I hadn't even seen what my chest looked like yet because it had been swollen since the surgery. Today would be the day that Alesha and I could actually see what my chest would look like because the swelling had gone down so much.

I had been wearing a compression bandage underneath one of the tops that they gave me that was able to hold the tubing coming out of the sides of where my breasts had been. It was changed everyday but the amount of swelling prevented Alesha and I from seeing how flat my chest truly was.

I still had pain at where the insisions were and Alesha was spending as much time as she could with me right now while trying to take care of her own daughter and my two daughters. Alesha was trying to figure out ways for us to cuddle without it causing pain for me and it be awkward positioning for her. I was still in a lot of pain from the mastomecty and I hated it.

Alesha finally came into my room and she got right into my bed with me.

"Ready to see what you're going to look like flatter than me?" Alesha asked me. She tried to add humour in by making fun of her own breasts. I would have had at least A-cups if the doctors had been able to save my nipples and my milk ducts.

"Yes but I'm scared to see it," I replied, leaning my head onto Alesha's shoulder. This was currently the most comfortable position for Alesha and I to cuddle while I was in pain and we would have to adjust when I got to go home today.

"Don't be scared, Amanda. I'm still going to have a crush on you even if your chest is a little ugly right now and it's only going to be like that until it heals all the way," Alesha told me and she kissed my head. "Do you want me to call the nurse to get the bandage changed so we can get ready to go home?"

I nodded my head to answer her question and pressed the button to call a nurse into my room.

《h.d.》

There were angry red lines across where my breasts had been. These were the scars left behind from the mastectomy and it was the first time that I allowed Alesha to see them.

The sight of the scars made Alesha break down crying into my arms and when I saw how flat my chest was, I started to cry as well. Alesha had told me how much the doctors had to take, including the amount they hadn't planned on but it still shocked me. I hadn't thought that I would be so flat. The nurse then gave me the dressing for the surgery wound that I would wear at home and left Alesha and I alone.

I already knew how to fill up the expanders that were placed where my breasts had been so a nurse didn't have to show me how. The expanders would be for stretching the skin of my chest to allow breast implants to be put in when I would get reconstruction done after the final of Britain's got Talent. I was told to only put the water into the expanders after my first doctors visit, when I would also be getting my first round of chemotherapy at the hospital.

"Are you ready to go home now, babe?" Alesha inquired after we had both dried each other's tears. "The kids will be home from school soon."

"Yes. I want to go home and sleep in our bed," I replied.

《h.d.》

Azura, Hollie, and Lexi came running into Alesha and I's bedroom a couple of minutes after they had gotten home, dropped their bags in the entry hallway, and questioned Alesha to where I was.

"Mum! You're home!" Lexi exclaimed when she saw me resting in bed.

"Come here. Let me hug you all," I replied, reaching my arms out for the girls. Azura and Hollie climbed onto bed and waited for me to hug Lexi gently first so I could hold them in my arms.

Hollie put her head onto my stomach and spoke, "I missed you, mummy. 'Lesha wouldn't let me do this to her."

"Why not?" I asked, although I already knew the answer. Alesha's stomach wasn't flat and she didn't like that although it came from her being a mother. She didn't like anyone but me touching her there.

"She didn't say," Hollie replied as Azura put her head on my shoulder, blocking almost all movement of my left arm. Azura smiled when I let her stay on my shoulder although it did pain me a bit but not enough to ask her to get off.

"Doesn't that hurt, mum?" Lexi asked me, indicating Azura's small head on my shoulder.

"A little but not much now. I've got pain medication that I can take if I'm in too much pain," I replied to Lexi. "She's fine where she is. You used to do the same thing when you were Azura's age."

"Really?" Lexi asked as she got into the bed and she sat criss-crossed next to Azura.

"Yes, you did," I responded.

Alesha came upstairs and looked in our bedroom, leaning against the doorframe and said, "time to let Amanda rest, girls. She needs it right now."

Azura hugged me again as did Lexi and Hollie. I hugged each one of them back and after they left the room, I motioned for Alesha to get in bed with me.

"Do you want to cuddle?" I asked her.

"If it isn't too painful for you," Alesha replied, laying on her side and bringing my arm around her and let it rest against the top of her stomach, just underneath her breasts.

《a.a.》

Hey guys! How did you like the fluff at the end of this chapter? There's going to be a lot of fluff in this fanfic because Alesha and Amanda's irl relationship is really fluffy.

I hope that you guys liked this chapter! Please tell me what you loved about this chapter because it really helps me. Bye until the next chapter!