euphoria // l.l

seven

adalia's pov

it's tuesday now and i'm staring at a blank wall in calculous. everyone around me seems determined to get the notes down but I've been out of it all period. i miss sitting near logan but now that i've asked to move my seat i can't just change it back. there are still 20 minutes left of class. a minute seems like hours as i watch the clock, slowly ticking by.

suddenly the teacher, mr. ramond speaks, " since we are getting close to the big test in june, i thought we would do a little project. you can have a group of 2-3 people, that you know you can work well with. you have to make a backboard about a certain math topic that we have covered this year. i am allowing you to choose your group but i will be choosing your topic."

after he speaks chatter fills the room and i immediately look to logan who seems to be lost in a book. once mr. ramond allows us to start chooses partners mary, a girl i sit with at lunch comes up to me. "adalia, do you want to be partners?"

"uh actually no. i have one already, sorry." i begin to make my way to logan when i hear mary and a few others gasp. i roll my eyes and continue over to logan who hasn't taken his eyes off his book.

"logan?" i ask while tapping him on the shoulder. he takes his eyes away from his book giving me his full attention. "would you like to be partners?"

"uh yeah sure, but you know i'm bad at calculous so you'll probably have to teach me along the way." i giggle.

"yeah i'm fine with that. we should go get our topic," he nods and we go over to the teacher. since mr. ramond knows logan's not to good at calculous we just got the typical mean, median,mode and range. he said the topic will help a lot on the test because some people still have trouble with it, thankfully logan can do it like a pro.

logan's pov

about 5 minutes after we were given our topic the bell rang. it was last period so adalia and i decided to walk home together. since she has mr. ramond for homeroom her locker was just outside the classroom. i just carry my bag around so i went to her locker with her. as i stood staring at her packing her things i suddenly felt bad. i saw the looks people were giving her. i heard the gasps when she walked over to me. i didn't want her to commit social suicide no matter how close I was to actual suicide. but i decided not to talk to her about it because she's my first in school friend, since 5th grade, if we even were friends.

soon after she finished packing her bag we were heading out the front door. once we got outside it was lightly drizzling. out of the corner of my eye i saw adalia shiver and i realized she wasn't wearing a jacket. "are you cold?" oh wow what a shit question, i just saw her shiver.

"just a bit," she answered.

i reached into my bag, pulled out my jacket and carefully placed it onto her shoulders, "there ya go," i spoke smiling.

"oh no logan it's fine i dont ne-"

"i'm fine, i can stand the cold." of course to my dismay i shivered and adalia noticed. she started slowly taking the jacket off her shoulders but i put my hands on it and started readjusting it. "don't worry, you need it more then i do," i smiled as we continued our walk.

-

the rest of our walk was silent. when we got to our apartment building i went inside and began to walk to my door when i realize adalia following me. "why are you following me?"

"it's tuesday."

"so?"

"i tutor you on tuesdays." oh shit my house is a mess, i totally forgot. i nod and fumble to the find the right key. once i find the key to my apartment i slide it in the lock and unlock the door. i walk in and move to my bedroom to clean up while adalia walks over and sits at the kitchen table. she places her stuff down and sits there silently as she waits for me to come back.

"so uh i was thinking since we have to do that project for calculous i was wondering if i could come over every thursday to work on it?"

she thinks about it a while before answering, "yeah, douglas has lacrosse on thursdays so i should be open."

i cringe at douglas's name. he's an asshole. i know he's just using adalia. but the worst part is that i couldn't even compete with him if i tried.

"i'm sorry if he was rude to you on sunday. he said you just ran off but i know he can be sort of.. intimidating." i wish i had an excuse for running off but i don't. he was just there. he was just bigger than me and i got scared.

"no, he didn't do anything i'm just a coward." but what adalia didn't know is that i had been working out at a gym ever since, so that if i ever really wanted adalia i could stand up to douglas.

"don't say that logan," she spoke.

"adalia you know it's true. everyone makes fun of me. they all think i'm weird."

"i know people say bad things about you but they're all wrong. don't listen to them."

"don't listen to them? adalia just a little while ago you were them and don't even try to deny it because i know you were."

"i admit i did. i did use to fake fun of you. that's change. i know you better now. you're not weird or a freak or anything they say."

adalia's pov

i can't tell if logan is opening up to me or throwing it all in my face. either way this is a very heated conversation and i can feel the air becoming thick.

"adalia, tell me you don't think it's weird i speak to myself?" i paused should i lie to him, no i can't risk losing this friendship again.

"it's a little weird but once i find out the reason behind it maybe i'll understand better." he just nodded keeping his focus on his feet. "why do you?"

he took a long pause and i wasn't sure if he actually would answer. "i want to be an actor. my mom gets me auditions for commercials and small parts in movies or shows. i talk to myself in the mirror to practice my lines and it works. i'll get parts and get callbacks and it makes me feel ecstatic. acting is my passion. it helps me get away from my miserable life. i get to be who i want to be. i can be the cool kid, a jock, a genius, a druggy, a skater, a biker, a charmer. i can be anyone but the one that doesn't fit in. the one that people yell at in the hallways and slam into lockers. i can escape the horrors of high school and just enjoy the little moments i have. you probably think i'm insane. you think i'm even weirder now, but i can assure you, acting makes me better."

my heart stopped when i heard that. i immediately felt happy and sad for him. good for him, he should be able to act. he must do well if he gets callbacks and roles. but his goal shouldn't be to play someone he's not. logan should be proud of who he is. "logan, you shouldn't set your goal to be someone else."

logan's pov

adalia thought for a while before she spoke. i was nervous that she might have realized how strange i really was and leave. "logan, you shouldn't set your goal to be someone else."

who was she to tell me who i can and cannot be? i just opened up to her and she judges me. too bad i'm crazy about her, "w-what?"

"you're perfect just the way you are and if people can't accept that, it's their loss. i can tell you in the past month that i've gotten to know you, you've surprised me. i'm glad i got to see who you really are." as i listened to what she was saying a goofy smile was appearing on my face. god, she always says the right thing; she's so sweet. how is she dating that fucking dick?

"thank you, adalia, really. you're such a good friend, like the best friend, seriously. thank you."

after we finished our emotion-filled conversation we were no longer in the mood to study. adalia stayed over and we watched comedy movies to get our minds off our conversation. each time adalia laughed i watched as her eyes crinkled and the corners of her lips turned up. she was so beautiful when she laughed, she was genuinely happy and i only hoped, that she could make me feel that way.