euphoria // l.l

eighteen

adalia's pov

it had been at least three days after logan and i's fight. my mother was extremely welcoming the day i bursted through the door with all of my things. after explaining what had happened since i'd been gone, she let me cry on her shoulder, telling me to let all my feelings out.

the day i left logan's apartment i wasn't able to grab all of my things. on the third day i decided to stop over to grab them. knowing logan, i figured he'd be at an audition or just chilling so i thought it'd be the perfect time to grab my things.

by seven o'five i was standing outside the front door of logan's apartment with my hand lifted to the wood. being nervous and sceptical, i stood there for a few minutes before finally deciding to knock.

as i was about to turn back logan approached the door opening it slightly, leaving the chain lock attached to the wood.

his eyes widened as he let out a cough, "uh, lia hey," he coughed again, "wasn't expecting you."

"um yeah, i forget a few things sorry," the air was growing thick, everything felt extremely awkward.

"don't be sorry, i should be the one apologising," he spoke, his voice raspy.

"no,no, i put too much pressure on you. i shouldn't have just expected..." i trailed off, unsure of what to say.

"hey," he said, the softness of his voice causing me to look up, "can we just forget that it ever happened?"

i kept telling myself that i shouldn't let it go, i liked logan, i wanted him. but i'd rather have him as a friend than not have him at all.

slowly, i nodded. gosh adalia gain some fucking strength.

"wanna hang out for a while?"

"why not?" i smiled slightly unable to contain it any longer.

-

the water droplets seemed to sizzle on the ground as we sat at the fountain we had once visited. it seemed like so long ago since we had walked the cement bricks that were implanted in the ground.

so much had changed since we were last here and i couldn't help but miss it. everything seemed so much simpler then, like the world was at peace.

logan lightly had his arm resting on my shoulders, in a way that said he was just comforting a friend.

friends.

that was what logan and i were when we were here last time, at least that's what i told myself. even though i knew i was wrong ; logan always had feelings for me yet i was too busy wasting all of my time with douglas fucking booth.

now it appears, that the tables have turned. as i heard logan mumble the words i knew i shouldn't have heard i felt guilt wash over me. 'now you'll know how it feels,' and i fucking do.

are you happy now logan? i know how it fucking feels. okay?

why can't you just give up on the fucking girl you're dating and date me? date fucking me will you?

my thoughts were consuming me tremendously and i hadn't realised i had spoken those words out loud.

"adalia, seriously? i thought we were done talking about this." taking his hands up to his head he started tugging at the roots of his hair.

"yeah fine, pretend i didn't say anything," i mumbled annoyed.

out of the corner of my eye i saw logan open his mouth to speak but shut it just as quickly.

guiltiness washed through my body and i couldn't help but feel bad for saying anything.

turning my face to him i tried to lighten the air, "um, so your new girl, who is she?"

his face lit up as the question escaped my lips, "she's perfect, lia, she's all i've ever wanted."

ouch.

"what's her name? does she go to our school?" i asked curiosity clouding my mind.

suddenly his features changed and a look of panic crossed over his face. "oh um, she's just some girl i met, at uh one of my a-auditions. you wouldn't know her."

"well she's not just some girl but you don't know her," he swiftly added.

"oh well can i meet her someday? she seems great," the question slipped through my lips before i even knew i was asking it.

logan sighed, "adalia, do you really think that'd be a good idea? it'd just be hard on the both of us."

he was right. no matter how much i convinced myself that i wanted logan to be happy, i still wouldn't be able to deal with the suffering. watching him with another girl would totally crush me.

after exhaling deeply i replied, "i know, i just, i'm trying okay?"

before he could even ask what i meant by that i added, "i'm trying to be okay with you moving on. i know i'm late and i should have realised my feelings earlier but i know them now, isn't that enough?"

"no adalia. it's not enough. you can't just have feelings for me right when i find someone. i think we've had this conversation enough times." logan stood up quickly before storming off towards the car.

an; i know this was short but its been a lot of waiting and procrastinating so i thought i'd just post the chapter now. hopefully, the next update won't take just as long.