Key To My Heart [Devan Key]

I Wanted To Change Me

Safiyas POV:
(October 27th)
I'm not going to be the old Shailene anymore. I'm not going to be the boyfriendless, weak crybaby I was before. Somethings to due with Brad being my boyfriend but mostly Because in a way my fathers death has made me stronger. I stand up for what I believe in. If you threaten me by God, I will threaten you back.

Im changing my look. I want to look, natural. I miss my natural hair, I had only changed it because Mari wouldn't dye her hair if I didn't do it. It's like she was still attached to me with this hair. Still haunting me.

I loved Mari, she was my favorite person in the world. She understood me, she cared. We did as much as we could together, always talking to each other. Every day, night, any time.

But now she's gone. She's long gone. She's not coming back. You never really know your going to crumble until it happens. But its happening. She and my dad are haunting me. The memories. Playing back in my mind.

The dreams, they are so real they were here with me. Until I awoke and realized they are still gone. Words can't describe it. I can't take this emptiness, but it wont go away. There is nothing I can do about it. All I can do is drown in my thoughts. Sometimes, it's like I need a fucking break from my thoughts. But, they are always there to taunt and haunt me.

But I have realized, if Mari didn't die I wouldn't have Devan. If Dad didn't die I wouldn't have Brad. I have come to realize that good things do come out of bad things. But even though the good things are great, you will always dread the bad ones. This look I have been wearing for the past year, is making everything worse.

I need to look better. I can hide behind my looks and right now I feel like doing that. I want a different hair style, color. I want to add new things. Things that will make my mum want to strangle me. Tattoos. Some things are permanent if you let them be.

But if I have something permanent on me, I want it stand for this phase of my life. I want to look back at it in 30 years and say "Wow I can't believe that was me.". I want to be able to remember the sadness that I am feeling right now.

I need to remember this to prepare me for so much more that's going to come at me in the future. Because there is more coming and I know it. I just need to be ready.

I walk into the salon and I find a lady with a bob type hairstyle. Her hair was a silvery blond color, one of her arms covered in tattoos. Her black nose ring stood out. She looked up from her phone at the front desk and said "Hello, how can I help you today? My name is Pandora, I will be helping you today." her smile was bright. Looks can be deceiving because I figured she would be rude.

"Hi, uhm I want a cut and color done today please."
"Alrighty, what exactly do you want done?" she asked.
"Well, I don't want this lavender color anymore. I want an ashy, dirty blond. And my hair has gotten pretty long, I mean its halfway down my back. So I want side bangs and some layers added to take off extra weight."

She nods and takes me back so she can wash my hair. After, she blow dries it and straightens it so she can dye it perfectly. She mixes the blond and brown dye and asks "You're sure about this?"
I nod and answer with "It needs to change."

She applies the blond color all in my hair. And dyes the roots brown and lowlights my hair brown. And put a different hair color mixture in different places of my hair as well. After she foils it all I play on my phone. Not doing much but scrolling through Insta. I am just casually looking at a post until I scroll down and see a post from TMZ.

It reads:
(Breaking News: Brad Simpson, Lead Singer of the Vamps caught in public with lavender haired mystery girl. They were reportedly holding hands walking out of a restaurant, that they had spent hours in. Who is this mystery girl?)