Limerence (Tom Hiddleston fanfiction)

Chapter 12

I blinked, certain I must have imagined him, but when I opened my eyes he was still there. 

"Scarlett." I look at Daniel, sea green eyes, dark curly hair tousled, tall and fit as an athlete and stubbled to perfection. I could feel my heart thud in slow beats, trying to keep me breathing. I was certain I might faint. 

"What are you doing here?" He looks down and gestures towards my dress.

"You look beautiful." I feel my knees quiver, suddenly the heels felt too thin to carry my weight and I leaned against the doorframe.

"Come in." I close the door behind us, checking the clock, he had fifteen minutes till Tom would arrive. "Daniel, how did you find out where I was staying?" 

"Beatrice, I called her two weeks ago, but I couldn't get a flight till now, with the holidays and all. Scarlett where are you going, you look incredible?" I gasp, if he had gotten a flight two weeks ago, I wouldn't have met Tom, or even if I had it wouldn't have mattered, because the man I'm still, to my utter disgrace in love with was standing right in front of me.  "Scarlett, I left Jaqueline." I sit on the edge of the couch, unable to sit too close to him and smell his scent, that scent that could unguard me completely. 

"Why? What happened?" he sighs, looking down at his big hands. I notice how his eyes are red and he looks exhausted. "Are you okay?" I ask, unable to help myself - still caring for him deeply. 

"When Henry told me that you were travelling abroad for a year, something inside me just tore. Like there was a string still connecting my heart to yours and when you left I understood why I was never able to completely give my heart to her. It still belonged to you. I know it's been a year, but if there is still something inside you that feels something for me I need to know because I should have fought for you. I should have fought for you and I didn't, but I'm here now." I look at the clock, ten minutes. 

"Daniel, I cannot have this conversation with you. I have an event I need to be at in ten minutes," I look at his eyes, tears swimming in the sea green. "Can I meet you somewhere tomorrow? I need to get my head clear and think." He nods and I move to the door, he follows me. 

"Can I pick you up at," He studies my face and smiles slightly. I feel my eyes sting with tears - that smile. "10:30?" I nod and he leaves my apartment, looking back before he goes down the stairs. "I've missed you. I'll see you tomorrow then, enjoy your evening." Then with one swift movement, he is down the stairs and with him takes all the strength keeping me steady. I shut the door and run to the bathroom grabbing toilet paper and sticking it under my eyes so that my mascara won't run. I try to breathe calmly but my hands are shaking and I feel nauseous. 

If only he had gotten here two weeks ago, everything would have been different. I would have leapt into his arms and kissed him with all the love my heart still held for him, the type of love that subsides but never goes away... but everything was different now because I had met Tom. 

I felt the guilt sting my heart and stain my soul as I couldn't conceive hurting him. I had fallen for him, I knew I barely knew him and that we didn't have the history that I had with Daniel, but the last couple of days have been some of the best of my life. I powdered my nose and threw some eyedrops in the corners of my eyes, trying to salvage the wreck that was my face. I drank a glass of water and leaned firmly against the island counter, trying to calm down and prepare to put on the act of my life. I would not address this thing tonight, I would give him the fair chance he deserved, I would not tell him anything until I was certain of my feelings and after my conversation with Daniel. 

It was ten minutes past, and I was relieved that Tom was late leaving me more time to calm down and recenter. Then there was a knock on the door I grabbed my clutch and opened the door. Tom looked handsome in his suit, but he wasn't his usual calm self as he apologized for being late, it wasn't until I had locked the door and turned that he stopped speaking and looked at me. I kept my face and breathing steady. You can do this.