Limerence (Tom Hiddleston fanfiction)

Chapter 17

I had sent Tom and Daniel both messages when I landed safely after they both requested it. It was the least I could do considering I had left them both in Paris without sufficient reason for my sudden departure. 

But the heart does things for reason, that reason does not understand. 

My mom had picked me up at the airport. I had missed her terribly and to be by her side again felt comforting. Like all my problems were manageable because I was safe in her presence again. A childhood sentiment that I still coveted - even at 24. She was the personification of a cup of tea. Tom would tell me that a good cup of tea can solve anything. I smile, looking outside of the window. The rain pouring down ceaselessly. I miss him. 

But I also miss Daniel. 

My mom understood me better than anyone in the world. She asked me about Paris and my modelling shoot - she reminded me that I had never called Kate! I had completely forgotten with all the craziness of the past two days. She says that she told Kate there really was nothing to tell and that we had just spent the few days as friends. She was a lifesaver. She didn't ask me anything about the two men, just folded my hand in her lap and kept her eyes on the road. She understood that my methods were - internal organization and thought processing and then after I had dotted all the i's and crossed all the t's in my argument I would start talking to her about what was on my mind. 

Finally, after half an hour of driving I began the conversation I was dreading. 

"Okay. I'm ready to talk about it now." She nodded comprehensively. 

"I'm listening."

"Okay, so, you know I always thought that I would end up with Daniel. From the first moment we met, I was certain he was the one. My future, my husband, my great love. And when Daddy also," I feel my throat close up at the thought of him. "Also, said that he couldn't see me with anyone else and that he approved completely of him," she looks at me with her eyes full of understanding of the words I cannot formulate to say. 

I felt that after my father gave his blessing for me to marry Daniel, that if he asked he would accept him with open arms. That was my final certainty on the matter that we were meant for each other. When we lost my father, I knew that I could never marry anyone else. I didn't want to and for a year I was certain that his final word on the matter was set in the stone of my future, but when Daniel and I broke what we had, I knew I had made a mistake. I felt like I owed my father the promise to be with the man he wanted me to be with. 

I knew it didn't make much sense and that he would only want me to be happy, but his certainty left me now with gutwrenching doubt. My father's opinion always meant more to me than anyone else's and I knew I had become unhealthily dependant on his approval of everything in my life. My mother knew this, so she nodded knowingly and said in her soft voice. 

"I know you think that Daniel was the first man he approved of and the last, but, if he was still here," she chokes back the sobs and I squeeze her hand. It was only 9 months ago that he left us. "He would just want you to be happy. And if you think Daniel can make you happier, or Tom, that is your final choice. Not his, nor mine or anyone else's. Yours." she smiles. "Follow your heart." I laugh at the cliché statement, but know in my heart she's right. 

We turn onto our street and she helps me with my bags. I had felt so guilty for leaving her on her own, while I was overseas - but she had insisted I go without her. She had opened her own florist business and it was blooming. She had turned our garden into something that would leave the Versailles to shame. We had toasted cheese sandwiches on the couch, I laid in her arms while she cradled my head. Something about her caring softhearted nature reminded me of Tom and I felt that I needed someone like that in my life. 

I was too stubborn and insistently independent, but I was actually co-dependant to the core - I needed someone who was steadfast and trustworthy. I smile while we watch Bridget Jones, one of my favourites. Daniel Cleaver and Mark Darcy, I smile - maybe this was more relevant to my life than I realized. Tom truly was a Mr Darcy. Perhaps I have had the answers to what I want this whole time, I had been too blinded by my ridiculous reasons why I should be with Daniel and not with the obvious reasons why I should be with Tom - that was if he still wanted me. 

I laugh at the final scene where Mr Darcy kisses her while it's snowing and she confronts him that - "wait a minute - nice men don't kiss like that." which he replies to with a very witty - "Oh yes they fucking do." and kissed her again. I smiled, that is so Mr Hiddleston. 

I drifted off to sleep on the couch after we watched our consecutive Bridget Jones movie. 

I woke up with my phone vibrating next to me, I looked - eyes still blurry and answering with a very unappealing - "Hello?" It was quiet, and then, Tom spoke. 

"Scarlett?" I smile, his voice was like my very own caffeine. An addiction that I could not wake up without. "Are you awake?"

"I am now, listen, Tom," 

"No, wait. I need to say this. Scarlett, when I first saw you I fell in love, and you smiled, because you knew." I laugh, without realizing immediately what he's implying.

"Quoting Shakespeare to me? That is so you!" He just said he is in love with you. "Wait, what?"

"Listen, Scarlett, will you do me a favour?" I nod, then realize he can't see me. Yeesh, I was still fast asleep. "Yes, anything?"

"Come to the door so I can kiss you."