Walang Hanggan

Sad Beautiful Tragic (Taylor Swift)

I've been trying to get some sleep for hours now. Nagbasa na ako ng book na dala ko, nagbrowse na ako sa twitter, heck I even drink milk to induce sleep, pero wala pa rin. Sleep is evading me too much. So I decided to just walk around to pass time.

Nagpalit ako ng damit from my pajamas to a shirt and a pair of shorts, I topped that with my favourite hoodie since medyo mahamog na sa labas. I also brought my phone and wallet to buy something. Then off I went.

I was walking aimlessly when I passed by a 24/7 convenience store. I went in and bought a few cans of beers and a bag of chips. Maybe drinking beer will make me feel sleepy.

"Ano yan Beatriz?"

Napatuwaid ako ng tayo, I didn't know na may makakakita sa akin. I thought they all want to sleep already.

"Wala Ate. Pampatulog lang." I said, trying to act casual even when I am actually nervous inside. Of all of the people in the team ba naman, si Ate Ly pa talaga ang nakakita sa akin buying beers.

"Ah. Tara, field tayo." Nakangiti niyang sabi then she started walking.

Ate Ly has always been like that ever since. Never naman kasi siyang nagging strict sa amin even when she still was the captain.One time, I asked her about it, she just smiled and said na hahayaan nalang daw niya na si Ate Den yung maging strict na senior, that Ate Den's katarayan is already enough pressure. And things has been like that since pumasok ako sa team. Ate Den would be the one na sasaway sa amin, while Ate Ly will just tell us na huwag magpahuli next time. They balance things out that way.

I was still reminiscing when Ate Ly called me and gestured for me to sit on the spot beside her. And sit I did.

"Kumusta?" she asked and I can't help but smile at her awkwardness.

Ate Aly might be the "Phenom" but starting a conversation has not been her things, despite all those interviews she had.

"I've been good naman 'Te." Things been rough without you in the team, pero it's nothing we can't deal with." I answered, sipping on the beer I have.

She looked at me, like I am a fragile porcelain breaking anytime. I know she wants to know what happened, what is happening. But I am not yet ready to tell her the story, or anyone in that matter. How can I tell the story I don't understand? How can they expect me to explain matters I myself don't understand? How can I tell them when I, myself, don't know how things went like this?

"Ate Ly, I have a question sana." I look at her as she too sipped on her can.

She odded, urging me to ask away.

"What happened? Sa inyo ni Ate Den?" she glanced at me and then looked at the sky full of stars. Pero hindi pa rin siya sumasagot.

"I mean, I know that you two were never together. Pero kasi, sobrang perfect nyong tingnan. So bakit hindi nagging kayo?"

"Anong ibig mong sabihin Bei?" she asked followed by a hollow laugh.

"Kami ni Dennise, we are just friends. Wala naming something more sa amin."

"Maglolokohan pa ba tayong dalawa ditto Ate? We both know that you guys are not just friends, at least not for you."

She smiled that sad smile known only to few. And looked at the sky with glazed eyes, as if she's not here with me, as if she is currently in a different time and place, as if she is back to the time when she and Ate Den was still a possibility.

"Dennise is naturally sweet and caring. After training, she would always ask kung okay lang ako, kami nila Ells and Amy, and would try to lighten up the mood when things are just too much for us. Everyday, she would send a message telling me to eat right, na wag mapalipas ng gutom. And her sweetness would even be apparent on how she treats us, and how clingy she is. She might be a bit strict sometimes pero alam ko naman na she just wants things to be easier for all of us. She has always been that lovable. She has always been someone you'd easily fall for."