Prank Week [ON HOLD INDEFINITELY]

Chapter 22: Chris

Tuesday, September 3rd, 2:15 pm

We were in the attic. I sat on the futon couch, drumsticks in hand. Zach, Jacob, Chase, and I were waiting for the rest of us. Ray would still be in French class until 2:30. We had time to kill.

"You guys hungry?," asked Zach.

"Always," said Jacob.

"I could eat," I replied.

"I'm on a diet, Zach." said Chase.

"Why?" we all asked together.

"Well, all of you guys play sports, er, well, Chris and Zach do," he said, awkwardly staring at Jacob.

"Cheerleading is a sport!"

I just had to laugh at that remark.

"Okay, anyways," he said. "At least you all do some type of activity. I'm just Chase, the loner with the multicolored hair."

We all held in laughs, creating a muffled coughing sound because of the irony in Chase's comment.

"I need to eat nothing but meat," he said, grossed by his own words.

"But dude, you're a vegetarian," I reminded him.

"I know Chris, but if I don't do this now, I won't even make it as the water boy on a team."

"Well, I guess I'll just get Chase a bunch of meat then," Zach said, walking down to the kitchen.

The conversation just went downhill after Zach left the room.

"Chris," said Jacob.

"Yeah," I answered.

"Why do some people have different belly buttons?"

This was not out of the ordinary for our conversations.

"I don't know why some navels are different than others, Jake."

"Well, what kind do you have?" he asked me.

"Uh, I forget," I said, wondering, as I lifted my shirt to see.
"Does it look more innie, or outie?" I asked.

"Uh, it's sort of in betweenish, but more innie." replied Chase.

We all began checking our belly buttons. Next thing we knew, we were drawing faces on our stomachs. Zach walked in, a tray full of bologna and turkey for Chase, and cheese and crackers for the rest of us. Chase gagged.

"I leave a room for 5 minutes," huffs Zach.

We realize just how stupid and immature we look.

"Uh, we were just," I'm at a loss for words...

"Hey, Zach." says Chase.

"Yeah,"

"What does meat taste like?" he asks.

"Like Heaven," I reply.

"So wait, you've NEVER had meat?" asks Jacob.

"Well, when I was little, I tried a hamburger. I swear, I could hear the cow mooing as I bit into it. Worst moment of my life."

"You're pathetic," I said.

"You're a cannibal," Chase said.

"What are you saying?" I asked.

"You know, how dogs can seem almost human?"

"Doesn't mean I'm eating a dog." said Zach.

"Yeah, but my point is that we're all animals."

"Whatever Chase, just eat your meat."

Reluctantly, he grabbed a slice of turkey.

"Here goes," he said, as he slipped the meat into his mouth.

"You okay?" Jacob asked.

"No! That's disgusting! I need vitamin water, quick!" he screamed.

Meanwhile, I was laughing my ass off as Zach and Jake went to get his water and a chunk of tofu for sanity's sake.

Just then, the door opened. Raymond, I thought. When I saw that it was just Roy, I was relieved. I couldn't take any more prank planning right now.

"What the hell is wrong, you four?"

"Oh, Chase is just having a spazz attack." I said, laughing slightly.

"Not again," he complained.

Chase has had at least 10 spazz attacks in the last week. It's just a problem he has. Nothing medical or anything. Trust me, we checked.

"So, what are you guys up to?"

"The usual." said Zach.

"Oh, so, nothing..." he joked.

"Hey I have a social life!" yelled Chase from beneath his panicky breath.

"890 Instagram follows doesn't count as a social life, Chase." I butted in.

"Up to 900 now."

Chase would do anything to protect his "social life." He didn't have any actual friends besides us.

"What happened this time?" questioned Roy.

"Chase is on an all meat diet," Jacob answered.

"Oh gosh," said Roy. "Well, you boys have fun with, well, whatever you're doing with your lives."

"Will do," I assured him.

"Alright, see you guys, I'm off to a counselor meeting," he reminded us.

"Bye, man."

As soon as Roy walked out, Raymond walked right in the back door with Kevin.

"Hey guys!" shouted Ray, his keys jingling as he climbed up the ladder.

We all rolled our eyes in ignorance.

"What's with the text, Ray?" I asked him.

He had kiked me earlier about some important news.

"Patience," was all he replied.

"It's about the prank-," answered Kevin.

"Obviously," Chase interrupted.

"Well, anyways," said Ray. "We attack at 5, during Alyssa's nap."

"Got it." I said.

"You sure we should do this?" asked Chase

"Of course." I answered.
"They aren't your typical pony tail and lip balm girls. They mean business."

"Ponytail and lip balm?" Kevin asked.

"What?" I asked nervously. "Mia and Molly read vogue. Don't think they don't banter about it in front of me."

"Whatever, Chris," he said, patting me on the back.

"Alright guys, we gotta get hyped up," said Jacob."

"On three." said Ray.
"Who are we?!"

"OMT!" we announced.

"Who are we?!"

"OMT!"

A few noogies, chest bumps, head butts, bro hugs, and high fives later, we were ready to roll.

I was ready to strike. Quickly, deadly, and unnoticed, like a cobra.