happy endings are for fairy tales // kiani au

FIVE: JORDAN

2 april 2017

the doorbell rings. one, two times. they grow more impatient as i pull a shirt over my head and walk over to check who it is.

it's jasmine. immediately, the door clicks open and she struts in, black denny's apron still soaked with the smell of burgers and sauces.

she makes herself comfortable with bottle of beer in hand. hard liquor, i respect that. no words are exchanged as she crosses her legs on a cushioned chair, taking a swig.

"hey, what's up?" i start.

the cold bottle departs from her lips, "nothing, just thought i'd swing by. we haven't talked in forever."

for a second, i'm embarrassed. i'd stopped going to church when i lost faith in god completely. the thought of keeping in touch with everyone i'd met there had never crossed my mind, ever.

"sorry about that, i just.." i peer to the chain around her neck. following the shiny interlocking pieces of metal, i see a cross in the middle, "i guess, i grew tired of everything. something happened, and i stopped believing in anything. it was me; i was the problem."

the slits of her eyes thinned, "what are you talking about?"

"about me not going to church," i say.

she laughs while she places the bottle carelessly on the table, "i don't care about that, silly. that place bores me to death; i'd consider you leaving as a blessing."

i appreciate her understanding.

me and jasmine had clicked almost instantly when we first met. she was next to the door of the fire escape route, watching her parents mingle with other parents. i'd gone at my own will, desperate to find something to kill the devil's voice in my head. to give me hope and light the way to happiness.

we were friends in a matter of seconds, after i approached her and asked her what she was doing there. her parents didn't mind, seeing me more of a son than a threat. how could they have thought disrespecting thoughts in such a holy place, after all.

but it all came to an end, as expected. like a candle, burning bright before it gets hit by something so unexpected, that it topples and the flame dies. my faith and hope both died that one day.

"who was the guy?" she questions, and i panic for a second, thinking she'd somehow read my mind and savaged my thoughts. i guess it didn't matter; whether she was referring to the guy i ate lunch with, or the guy that made me destroyed my hope in everything, i had the same answer, the same name.

"will," i glance over at the unfinished bottle, almost toppling, "can i have some?"

she gestures for me to take it. so i do, taking a large gulp. first the cigarette, now alcohol. fuck, that boy really knew how to play with my feelings.

"i recognised him from somewhere," she taps her temple, thinking. then her eyes widen and she's found her answer, "he's the guy who's girlfriend– "

"yes, he's the guy," i cut her off, distaste made obvious in my voice to warn her i didn't want to talk about it. not now, when me and will were just starting to patch up. just a single reminder of the incident made me want to throw up.