happy endings are for fairy tales // kiani au

THIRTY-EIGHT: WILL

23 august 2017

"yeah, thanks for the call," i exhale, lowering my phone and hanging up. i stare at the white wall in front of me. there are no words left to say.

"brayden's hair matched the unknown hairs on the crime scene. it is beyond a reasonable doubt that he killed bianca on the 26th of june in 2016. i'm so sorry, sir."

the door creaks when it is opened. i know it is jordan. he stayed over yesterday after brayden's outburst. although his eyes were puffy, he refused to talk about what happened at the police station. he claimed i had to hear it from the police themselves.

"the police called you?" jordan asks. i turn and nod solemnly. everything seems to be pulled into slow motion as i place my phone on the table, letting my hand slide down the surface into my lap. he squeezes my hand, "will, i'm so sorry, i..."

jordan pauses. i want to respond, but i have been transported into another dimension. all i see is brayden, his eyes full of enmity, and then bianca's perfect eyes. there is a persistent ringing in my ear; i can't feel.

she did nothing but treat everyone with kindness. and because of that, brayden took her away.

and i let him. i wasn't careful enough.

i see brayden, with that small beer bottle in his hand, raised high above his head. that hatred. had that been the last thing bianca saw?

"will, will!" jordan shakes me. he sounds desperate. when he notices that i have returned from my thoughts, he pulls me close. my head rests on his shoulder, "i'm sorry, it's my fault. i was the only link between them. i'm sorry."

"nothing is your fault," i say absent-mindedly, "you did nothing. brayden... brayden did it. you didn't choose that, right?"

"then stop blaming yourself too," jordan murmurs. i freeze. how did he know? a tear rolls down my cheek. and another. and another. it leaves a sticky trail on my face. with my mouth agape, i cry silently.

jordan continues, "she's at peace now, ok? nothing is your fault. i know she wants you to be happy. she'd rather see you smile than cry, right?"

my arms tighten around him. i am unable to speak, my throat choked in a tight hold.

brayden killed her. my confusion, my denial, my guilt, can all finally be let go. but my heart aches, still. it is confirmation that she is dead. and while i had known it for so long, this revelation sinks the pain from that fact deeper.

more tears stream down. the door opens again, and it's mitchell. jordan nods silently.

mitchell walks in and he is not the only one there. sean follows closely after, then liam. i look at all of them, perplexed by their sudden appearance.

"how? why?" is all i can say at that moment. jordan helps me up from the chair, a half-grin forms on his face.

"i settled it. they know what really happened," jordan says. i can only manage a small hint of a smile.

liam opens his mouth to speak, but i don't need words. so instead, he stands next to the door and holds his hands up, gesturing a hug. i return his hug. they are still the awkwardly best hugs. warmth surrounds me all around as sean and mitchell join in.

liam had been right. they did stick it through with me, at the very end.

they don't have to tell me they are sorry. they don't have to say any condolences for me to hear them. as i sob in sheer pain, brayden's confession like a spear through my body, i still feel a sense of closure. closure for bianca's wrongful death, for my confusing feelings i had towards jordan then, for the broken friendships zach had caused.

everything hurts. but at that moment, in the arms of everyone i thought i had lost forever, the broken pieces are being brought together.