If you loved me...

Broken/NewBorn Heart

Kathy's Pov

Its been weeks since I havent seen Jacob, it felt like forever. Even at school he wasnt there. I tried calling, texting, voice mails, everything but he never answered. I dont know where he is either, i tired going to his house but his father said he was out doing something. It felt like a part of me was gone, a piece of me that i can never get back.

"look, honey its going to be fine....he might come back...one day." my mom says rubbing my back.

"yea well, im not sure what to do....." i say sadly.

"sweeetie everything will work out.....just...how about you go out and have a stroll through the woods? that always make you happy!" she cheers.

"it'd be better if he was here..." i say

'come on! work with me here! just go and try to get your mind of it!" she says. i wan to make her happy so i go out.

I put my cream leather jacket on over my black t-shirt. My shiny dark brown wavy hair falls down to my chest. I slip into my navy blue converse and walk out the door. I walk into the woods, its so perfect but all i thought of was Jacob. i dont know anything about him or us anymore, it feels like nothing to me.

I go up to the place me and Jacob always went, the place where he first told me he loved me. Sometime it snows up there and thats what its doing right now. Its a airy place stopping the woods. Before I step to there, i see a Jacob. What?! Why is he here? I walk up to him and turn him to face me.

'kathy?" he looks confused.

"Jacob why are you here?! and why are you ignoring me?" i ask qeusitonably.

"Look, i can explain." he says a bit hurt.

"oh really? well you could have done that a few weeks ago on the phone or texted me or something like that!" i say angrily.

"Kathy, I didn't want to leave you." he says putting a hand on my shoulder.

I shave it away. "Jacob, I thought you loved me! You told me That you loved me and that we'll always be together! You're just hurting me Jacob! If you loved me....you wouldn't have left me and never told me why." I yell. Im not sad, just upset.

"Kathy, just let me talk to you!" he says and i can see his eyes turning darker than it already is. He tries grabbing my hand but i pull back.

"We..are through." I say in the most depress voice and run off.

I dont cry about this, i just feel so hurt that he left without saying anything. He has the erge to go to our place but not answer me what so ever! I just can't believe he would do this...

I opened the door and slammed it behind me.

"sweetheart what happenned?!" my mother asks worried.

"Jacob happenned!" I say between my teeth. i storm upstairs and go to my room. I rush angrily to get my brushes, piants and canvas. Art always calms me down and thats what im going to do. I start to agressifly paint away my feelings. In every stroke is a strike at my heart trying to get over Jacob. Its so hard cause everyminute of my life is him. I've made so many paintings in the last few hours and when I was about to start another one Trizi came in.

"Woah! woah! woah! You need to calm down Kathy! This is only making you hurt more!" she says trying to get the brush from me. When i finally let go of the brush I look around my room. All the piantings, every single one is me and him together, hold hands kissing or together in the woods. I felt like my head was spinning and it was rewinding the talk i had with him earlier, the day he said he always love me, its all just spinning in my mind. I knock over one of my pianting making me fall to the ground. i just curl up in a ball, my head in my knees, and im crying my heart out.

I can't do anything now, I've lost everything. Trizi comes to me and hugs me for the longest time. This is so hard to lose him this way. Its so difficult letting go.

~~~monday~~~

I still feel really upset about the whole Jacob thing. It's been 3days since it happenned and i just cant let go of the memories.

"You'll be fine." Izzy says rubbing my back as we walk back home from school through the woods.

"thanks." i say. Right now i dont relaly feel comfortable with anyone....not even Trizi.

I feel strong arms hug me, i think its taylor. When i turn around, i saw Taylor's face. "Come on Kathy, cheer up, theirs other guys out there.....you just have to open you're eyes." he chirps.

Behind him i can see Triz making her heart and mouthing he loves you. but i just roll my eyes.

"Say, how about you and I have a walk in the woods after hmm?" he says smiling.

Taylor's always been there for me, I've known him since I was 5 and he's the best. I think that right now, he's the only one that i feel comfortable with.

I nod agreeing to his suggestion.

After awhile me and Taylor go back into the woods. We walk for awhile in silence, before he holder my hand. We just swing our arm as we walk through the woods. We talked a bit and laughed he really got my mind of Jacob. It felt really nice to be relaxed again and hang out with Taylor more like we used to. When I noticed that we were going in the direction of the mountain I stopped.

"Can we walk the other way?" I ask.

He took one look from me and knew I didn't want to go that way because of Jacob so we turned around. We walk by to the lake and then he stopped. "What's wrong?" I ask.

In a swift move he's right in front of me and we're only half a inch apart and his arms are around me. "Taylor what are you doing!" I say.

"Kathy, you know I love you so please love me."he says softly.

"Look, Taylor I don't love you....." I start off saying.

But Taylor interrupts. "Yes you do...you just don't want to admit it, please just show me your feeling for me. That's all I'm asking Kathy, please be mine."

I look into his light blue eyes "Taylor.." That's all I could say before Taylor kisses me.

I try to push him away but I can't, and I'm not really trying. I want to back away but something keeps me from doing so. I know I can push him off but I don't know why I'm not! This is confusing.

The kiss felt like it was going on forever and ever and it felt like we couldn't stop. When we pulled back we were both breathless, and our foreheads are leaning together. In breathless words he says. "Please Kathy......just let me love you....."

I wasn't sure what to say.....it was all too much. "Please...." He pleads.

I don't want to hurt him but I don't want to go out with him. I'm don't sure what to do, and he waiting for me to answer. I finally gave in and said I'd go out with him! he was really happy when I said yes, I was kind of happy too. It almost felt like Jacob never hurt me......almost.......