Twisted Emotions of Your Average Nothing

3: Sweet Release

 Chapter Three: Sweet Release

  It was only 5:45 when Savannah reached her destination. She was in the middle of the woods at a spot where four gigantic pine trees were clumped together. Unless you knew it was there, you wouldn't be able to see the wood, sheets and other material that Savannah used to make her hide out. Savannah was gratetful for that. Most of the time all she needed was to get away and be alone. And this was the perfect place.

  She swiftly climbed up the branches to the entrance of her hideout. Once inside, the rain was no longer a threat. Not that it mattered. Savannah was drenched anyway. Settling down in a small beanbag chair, Savannah began to sing. She just let it out. Sometimes she would mumble made up lyrics, but there was really no way to describe this song. It was just MUSIC. Music at its purest, with no one to critisize, no one to hear.

  When she was done, Savannah layed back and closed her eyes. All she could hear was the steady beat of her heart matching the beat of the rain. It was beautiful. That was when she let her mind drift.

  She thought of everything. The homework she never really finished, the sound of her mother's cries last night, all the words she had saved in her heart from Jacob, her ex, and the image of her father in his final moments during the accident. Silent tears fell slowly, then faster the more she thought about it. Then came the horrible, hateful feeling.

   Savannah blamed herself for everything. She blamed herself for her mother's pain, for Jacobs change in heart, and for her fathers death. She blamed herself for feeling ugly, disgusting, repulsive, and fat. Obese. Overweight. Chubby. She never ate. A hunger pain nearly overwhelmed her but she did her best to ignored it.

   That's when she grabbed a discarded shard of sharp glass. Pulling up her damp sleeve, she slowly dragged the shard of glass across her wrist, across her previous scars. She didn't want to, and then she thought again. The voice in the back of her head came back. Yelling, pleading, screaming it was saying:

"Do it Savannah. Do it! Your not good enough Savannah! You deserve it!"

So she pressed down hard and dragged, her tears and blood hitting the floor at the same moment.