Twisted Emotions of Your Average Nothing

14: Impulse

The car ride to the cabin would take roughly 2 hours, all Savannah and Blake could do was wait. This waiting left plenty of room for mellow conversation, a luxury they hadn't yet enjoyed.

"Blake?" Savannah said quietly.

"What." Blake said nervously, clutching the steering wheel.

"If you don't mind me asking...how did your father die?" Still quiet.

Savannah noticed how Blake froze, every part of him was tense. She started to regret her question, wishing she asked him something simple like what his favorite band was. Oh well, no going back now.

Blake spoke slowly, then got faster.

"Well. If you really want to know...I guess..I'll have to start at the beginning of everything, all leading to this very moment."

"I'm all ears."

Savannah listened intently as Blake spoke.

"It started when I was five years old. Sarah was only, like, three. My mom and dad would fight all the time. But one day everything got worse. You would think a day so long ago would be a blur to me, but its not. I remember it so clearly, sometimes I think I made it up. My mom was in the kitchen preparing dinner. We had been having a pretty good week, less fighting because my dad was at work. My mom was cutting up a tomato for some salad, she was perfectly calm. She was singing a tune she completely made up. She had the most beautiful voice. I still have dreams of her singing to me. Anyway, she was cutting up a tomato, singing her tune, when my dad barged in. He dropped a large bottle of wine, well an EMPTY bottle of wine on the floor and it shattered. That's when my mom told me to carry Sarah to the bathroom and lock the door. I brought Sarah to the bathroom, but I stayed out to make sure my mom was okay-"

Savannah rubbed his back, she could tell Blake was about to cry. But he didn't. He swallowed and continued.

"I was only five, but I thought I could protect her. I couldn't. My mom put the knife she was using down and turned as my dad approached her. 'What the fuck are you doing women? Where is my wine!' That was the first thing he said to her. No 'Hello Honey." or 'Hey Baby'. He was such an asshole, my god! My mom didn't say anything. She walked past him to the fridge and took out an ice coffee from dunks. 'Here.' She said. Then my dad knocked it out of her hand and slapped her in the face. She shrugged it off like nothing had happened. She was so strong Savannah! She walked back over to the salad and continued cutting the tomato."

"But my dad ripped the knife out of her hand and dragged it across her eyebrow, quick. Blood surged out of it. I was so scared Savannah, so scared. But I knew I had to be brave for my mom. I went back to the bathroom and locked the door. Sarah started to cry but I calmed her down by playing dolls with her. All I could hear was screaming-mostly from my dad and occasionally from my mom. Then there was a huge bang, and then silence."

"Blake, pull over. Come on, pull over." Savannah said.

Blake did. He finished his story while crying, screaming out the words.

"My mom came and knocked on the door. I opened it. Her face was covered in bruises and blood, she looked like a monster! But then she sang to us Savannah, she sang! I ran and hugged her, and neither of us noticed Sarah crawl out the door. We only noticed when she was screaming, yelling 'DADDY! DDAAADDYY!' It was her first words. She had had trouble with speech and her first words were wasted on that asshole I had to call my father. When I walked into the kitchen with my mother, I saw my dad on the ground. Blood everywhere, gun on the floor. My mom shot him Savannah."

Savannah inhaled slowly, then exhaled quick. "But this doesn't explain how SHE died, Blake."

"I know. I'm getting there. It was one of the two scariest nights of my life. My mom cleaned up the evidence and she never got caught. Life was actually better without my dad. Except that bills had to be paid, and our house was too much. We stayed there for as long as we could. When I was about 10 and Sarah was 9, we moved to Harrison to that small house. The first 5 years were fantastic, we were finally happy. Then my mom lost her job. We struggled to make ends meet. My mom started drinking and she was depressed, all the time. One night, my mom was in the middle of an arguement with Sarah, It was over something stupid, like clothes that Sarah wanted but couldn't have. My mom ran out the door out of no where and kept running and running. I followed her."

Savannah was crying along with Blake at this point. But nothing could prepare her for what happened next.

"We came to a corner. I was screaming after her, but she wouldn't listen. There were headlights and my mom screamed and..and then she was gone. A car hit her. I saw a man and a girl about my age in the front. The girl was fine...But the man was dead. I panicked. I dragged my mother all the way back to my house, made it look like she killed herself, and called 911. It sounds awful I know I was just so scared Savannah. I-"

"IT WAS YOU!" Savannah screamed through the tears. "It was you! I thought I saw you but I didn't know! HE WASN"T DEAD YET BLAKE! HE WASN"T DEAD YET! YOU COULD HAVE SAVED HIM!" Savannah cried so hard, still screaming. "Why didn't you tell me Blake! Why didn't you tell me! I've been blaming myself for the past TWO YEARS."

"Savannah I'm so sorry! I'm so, so, sorry!"

"SORRY ISN'T BRINGING HIM BACK NOW IS IT?" Savannah climbed out of the car, and Blake followed. He tried to hug her, to comfort her, but she pulled away violently.

"Please Savannah. Please forgive me. I know it seems unforgivable, but you're all I have right now. Please."

"Do you even realize what you're asking?"

"Please Savannah. Please, I-"

"Why should I? How can I?"

"Because."

"WHY."

Savannah stayed perfectly still as Blake got closer. He kissed her lightly on the lips and whispered,

"Please forgive me Savannah. I Love You, Savannah." He said, almost uncertain, then he continued with a sudden certainty that was very unexpected. "I love you Savannah. I love you. Please forgive me. I'll spend my entire life attempting to make it up to you, please please forgive me."

Savannah couldn't form words. All she did was cry with Blake, and they sat there on the ground until they heard a crash.