Those Batman Panties

Chapter 18

I sat, crumpled up into a large ball, my hair bunched up in an ungraceful knot against the cold bathroom wall. My stomach welded together like a wad of bubblegum. I felt tears riddling the edge of my eyes, not from sadness, but from shame. Am I this pathetic? Where is that girl who astounded me with her beauty, essence, and confidence? Where can I find her? Do I even want her back?

And what of the old Danika? What of the comic books, the cartoons, the stuffed Pikachu, the cool job I'd quit and basically abandoned?

"Are you going to cry?" I lifted my head.

A girl with dark messy hair that looked like an ink blot stuck to her head. Her skin was pasty and greasy, almost like my natural skin, and she was mostly covered in a black hoodie.

"How did you get in this stall?" I asked, surprised how normal my voice was considering my state.

"You left it unlocked. I usually hang out in here, so...," she trailed off. I wiped my eyes.

"You want me to leave? I can just go somewhere else," I said, though I reminded myself that Cathy told me to stay here.

The girl's eyes sparked with realization. "Aren't you Danika Something-or-other?" I nodded.

"I'm in your AP U.S. History class. Didn't recognize you under all that makeup. Plus, y'know, those clothes are kind of..."

"Slutty?" I offered.

She shook her head. "Actually, I was going to say whorish." She grinned.

We laugh, but the pitch in my throat doesn't loosen. I noticed she had a crooked, pretty smile that I was quickly getting used to.

"So why are you crying?" She pulled out a cigarette from a pack she had in her pocket. "Hope you don't mind," she said as she slid down to her but on the adjacent wall and lit her cigarette. I shook my head.

"Shame, mostly. I can't believe I'm actually crying. I feel ridiculous," I admitted,"to be that person sobbing in a bathroom stall."

She paused. "You wanna drag?"

I laughed and said no, no I didn't. "I don't smoke."

She nodded. "Yeah, I should quit. I'm Lucy, by the way." I smiled

"Isn't that sort of girly?" I asked, and she let loose a soft chuckle.

"Bit." She took the cigarette to her lips and inhaled. She paused, as if holding it in, and then blew out a circle in my direction.

I waved my hands in my face and scrunched up my nose. "So, are you going to ask me what happened?"

Lucy raised an unattended, crazed dark eyebrow and said in a croak,"Do you want me to?"

I shrugged. "I guess."

"Okay, then what happened?" She asked in a bored tone.

"I started dressing this way so I could forget about-"I paused," this guy who I-"I paused again. Like, or love? Love, I thought,"uh, really like. He was kind of a jerk to me, always messing with me and stuff. So once I realized I could be-"pause; beautiful? gorgeous? pulchritudinous?,"more attractive, I used it to my advantage. And I guess I just wanted to mess with him back, but he...he hasn't even looked at me," I finished. Lucy looked at me strangely.

"That's it?"

I gaped and said,"Yes! Come on! I was in so much emotional pain! And he didn't even care about me! I even hurt someone who did like me just because I didn't want to deal with him!"

Lucy giggled, which didn't suit her at all. I knew half way through it seemed like I was whinning, but I was adamant that I was truly wronged.

"Dude,"she went on to say," I know kids who are hit by their parents. Kids who have overdosed.  I totally thought you were gonna drop this bomb on me, and it turns out to be boy troubles. It's a bit silly. Even you said it was 'ridiculous'."

"I love him! Actually love him! And I have for years!" I screamed, miffed she didn't comfort me and take my side, which was, admittingly, childish, but still. 

"Thought so. Dude, just tell him. If you've been hanging around him for years, he probably has some chimerical romanticism about you. I'd go for it."

"But-"

I was interrupted by a loud rapping on the girl's bathroom door. Both Lucy and I wipped our heads in the direction of the noise. It repeated.

"Danika? You in there?" Despite the normal level of volume, there was a definite urgency in the voice. I gulped and widened my eyes. 

Austin, my mind placed. Definitely Austin.

Lucy grinned, showing off her teeth in an almost barring way. 

"Go for it, blondie," she said before taking another drag. 

I sighed and admitted my real fear,"What if he's just going to make fun of me?"

Lucy rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on. Put on a brave face. If he tries to, yell for me and I'll put out my cigarette on his crotch."

I smiled. Cathy would like her. I took a breath. I can do this. No, I will do this. In the words, or style, of Austin, fuck sheepishness. Fuck cowardness. Austin Pluss, prepare for Danika!

I got up and began walking out the stall until I paused. I popped my head back in the stall.

"Lucy...you aren't one of those kids whose being abused or using drugs, right?"

It was Lucy's turn to gape. "No! Now go before I hit you!"

I smile and finally walk out, ready to finally confess. 

Finally.

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WAH! Only two more chappies left, so I'd hurry up. I love Lucy! (Hee hee. That's a show....) Anyway, please, please, please, comment! Like, now! And fan! And vote! Thank you, everyone. You are all my favorites. And to my fans? You are all beautiful.