we're careful lovers
we don't hold hands
or sit closely to each other
though it's impossible to not smile
when I see you
I love you that much.
but when we're alone
it's very, very different.
your hands don't leave my skin
your eyes don't leave mine.
behind closed doors,
we are finally, beautifully, in love.
and even through all our carefulness
people still observe
the way you look at me in public
or play with my hair when you think
no one is watching.
how I blush when you graze my skin
or look to you when I need help.
it's different when you're gone.
when people mention you
I shut down
I force a smile or a laugh
and try not to bask
in the memories they
bring up to the surface.
but it's too late
they're already talking about us
and what they think
my friend says,
"there's got to be something between you two"
and I think
"you don't know the half of it."
