sometimes, I think that
I'm going to be in high school forever
that my skin will always
be used to sharp, cold air
that I will live my days out in sunlight
that my heart will always
beat fast and loud and never stop
that my veins
will grow accustomed to adrenaline
that I can run and run
on beat-up sneakers
with feet that never grow tired.
but I know better
because I see the sadness
in my grandmother's eyes
when she touches the silver of her hair
and I'm the only one awake.
I will not waste my youth.
I will not throw away my soul.
maybe just for now
I can pretend
that I will forever lie awake
tangling my fingers
in the roots of my youth
and begging it to never leave me.
please, just never leave me.
