"what are you most afraid of?"
is a question
that shouldn't bother me.
because I am not afraid of most things
like spiders or the all-consuming night
I forget my nightmares in the morning.
but I am afraid of plans
I hate anything with a routine
though every adult I care about
has had an arranged marriage
it scares me, hell, it scares me.
so I say:
"when I meet boys
who have skin like mine
with white teeth promises
and a collection of years
similar to my own
I am afraid.
because I know, that
perhaps, one day—
I might be standing across from them
at an altar
with a scarlet, jeweled veil
to conceal my tears.
just try to imagine
meeting boys, tall, with intelligent eyes
and looking at them
through the eyes of a lover
just wondering how
you'd fit in their arms.
try not being afraid, then."
