Sink or Swim

12

Harry's POV

April 12, 1912 - 1:30am

Do you ever just do things and then have no idea why you did it?

Truth be told, I was meaning to set up Jane with someone else on the ship, but as I kissed her, I felt as though it might not have been the best decision to let her be anyone else's. Throughout these few days I had known her, I had begun to feel emotions towards her. Whether they were affectionate or friendly, I had no clue.

She clutched at my waist as I kissed her and I found a million thoughts rushing through my head at once.

Why was I kissing her? This was way too fast wasn't it? It's just because I'm drunk isn't it?

But at the same time, I found a million thoughts rushing through my mind to counter those thoughts.

This felt right. This felt amazing.

Shivers rushed through me as I pulled away to find her breaking into a small smile. She looked up at me as I stared at her and I cleared my throat before I stepped back.

As much as I wanted to explore these sudden feelings with her, I had a feeling there would be no point. I was only going to be in her presence until the ship docked in New York. After that, she'd go her way and I'd go mine. There was no point to this.

"I'm sorry," I spoke, sighing to myself when I saw her smile turn into one of confusion.

"What are you talking about-"

"I can't and shouldn't have done that with you," I explained, "there's nothing for us. Even if we did continue this - whatever it is or could become - there would be no point."

"You said you'd teach me how to live my life properly," she retorted, stepping closer, "and I want to do that with you."

"I will help you," I said, "but I can't be the person you fall in love with. This is wrong."

"Why?" She asked, "because my mother says so? Because society doesn't allow it?"

I clenched my jaw and nodded, "that's exactly why."

She opened her mouth to speak and I shook my head, "even if we were to explore this, see where it went, you'd end up going your way and I'd end up going my own way. This story ends when the ship docks in New York. There's no point!"

"Yes there is," she shouted. I took a step back, shocked by her sudden outburst as we stood there in the cold air on the empty deck.

""I'm going to be wed to some banker at eighteen when I don't even know the man. I have never been in control of my own life," she began to walk closer to me and I found my eyes glued to her lips, "I would like to have one small sliver of time before my life is sent away to be controlled by another dictatorship so please, just let this happen."

I looked at her sadly, feeling pity for this girl who stood in front of me. She had no idea what it was like to be free, she had no idea what it was like to fall in love and she wanted to experience that with me.

I couldn't say no to her. For all the wrong reasons, I couldn't say no to her.

I stepped forward and grasped her hand, "this will only end up in heartbreak."

"I'll take whatever I can get," she whispered, "I doubt I'll fall In love with Mr. Johnson. If I have gotten this chance to live...truly live...I'll take it."

I licked my lips and looked out to the ocean. I had no idea if this was proper, if what we were doing was smart or not, but then again...

I guess what happens on this ship would stay on this ship.

I looked at her.

"Please don't turn this away," she whispered. I leaned into her and cupped her cheeks.

"I'm not," I replied and pressed my lips to hers.

~

I stood behind Jane as we looked out at the ocean by the railing. She stood, pressed against the railing with her dainty hands placed atop of the metal while I had my body pressed against her, and placed my hands on top of hers. I smiled faintly as she pressed herself into me and I took the opportunity to rest my head on her head.

"This is strange for me," she whispered. I breathed in and looked down at her.

"How so?" I asked. She craned her neck to look up at me and smiled softly.

"We've only known each other for two days," she replied, "and yet here we are."

I smiled and pressed my cheek against the side of her head and sighed, "here we are."

She giggled and turned around in my hold, leaning back against the railing now as I wrapped my hands around her waist. She beamed at me and smiled.

"I must admit though," she said, placing her hands on my arms, "this is quite exciting for me. I've never had an affair before."

I smirked, "really?"

She nodded, "I've never done anything with a boy before."

I nodded, "I thought so."

She gasped and slapped my chest playfully while I chuckled.

"You should get back to your cabin, Jane," I murmured, stepping back from her. She sighed and nodded before her brown eyes looked into mine.

"Will you walk me back?"

I smiled and reached my hand out for her and laughed softly when she grasped it almost immediately. I pulled her towards me, suddenly feeling cautious of these feelings for her.

"Shall we?" I asked.

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Hiiiiii I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

I know it's going fast compared to my other stories but that's because the titanic wasn't even that long of a journey anyways. It was literally four days.

So yeah

Vote and comment!!

Love
S