worst in me | joe keery (1)

18 : the past and the future

Valoria stepped out onto the roof where she had spent the night with Joe a month ago, spotting the brown-haired male standing against the ledge, his gaze fixed on the city below him. "You came."

Valoria nodded, taking hesitant steps forward. "I need to explain a lot and you definitely deserve answers."

Joe turned to Valoria, his arms crossed over his chest, "Well? Talk."

Valoria, her hands shaking as she took in Joe's cold tone, gestured to the bean bags in the corner. "I think it'd be best if we sat down. It's a long story."

Joe followed the brunette and sat down on a bean bag chair beside her, their bodies turned to face each other.

Valoria took in a shaky breath, her mind telling her she could do this as she looked down, playing with her fingers. "My dad married my mom when they were sophomores in college. They were both barely twenty-four when I was born, both of them carrying unstable jobs. They were still in love though, or so they thought."

"My dad became an alcoholic when I was three. It started off with a few drinks a week, then it turned into two drinks a day, then it turned into shit-faced drunk every day. He gradually lost his job, then he would lash out on my mom. At the time, she was still working a job, which meant she wasn't home. She left me with him, and I grew up watching my father get drunk and yell at me and my mother."

Valoria let out a deep breath, squeezing her eyes shut to rid them of the tears as she continued, "Once  I turned nine, my mom had enough and divorced my father. She got sole custody and it was her and I for a few months, till she met my step-father, and Finn's biological father. She got pregnant with Finn after knowing said father for a few months, putting a strain on their relationship. Regardless, he still took care of her and we moved in with him when my mom reached her due date."

"Finn was born when I was ten years old, and he made me the happiest child ever. Things were good for a while and eventually, my mom married my step-father. He also adopted me, giving me the Wolfhard last name. Finn never took me as his half-sister, he always took me as his sister 100% and that's why I think I love him so much."

Valoria looked up at Joe, who was gazing intently at the brunette, and gave him a sad smile. "This is where you learn about me."

"When I turned twelve, I landed my first acting job. I was on a few Disney shows, and I became a regular on Sonny with A Chance when I was fourteen, if you remember. At the time, I thought life was going great but I was so wrong."

Valoria let out a bitter chuckle, "I started being put in more uncomfortable positions, being shoved into doing things I didn't want. I couldn't take it much anymore, and by the time I turned sixteen, Disney Channel dropped me. My mom grew disappointed in my, my stepfather as well, but Finn was too young to grasp it. Instead, I spent my days between my home schooling teacher and playing with Finn. Sometimes I wish I did go to actual school, but I also didn't mind the whole home schooling thing. Anyway, my mom started to build up her disappointment in me and began shoving me into random acting jobs. Don't get me wrong, I landed some great ones, but I also landed some that turned me into someone I'm not."

"Once I turned seventeen, I got introduced into proper show biz. I learned about alcohol, drugs, all that stuff. I got invited into parties by my older co-stars and younger me, dealing with the stress of my mother and family, started attending these parties. I would get crazy drunk and come home, pretending like everything was fine. Around this time, my biological father tried to get back into contact with me. That only built up my urge to drink, and I found myself at parties every night, getting drunk and smoking god knows what, then sneaking bottles of alcohol home with me. By the end of a week, I had a complete bar stashed under my bed that I ran to anytime I got upset."

"In short, I was an alcoholic. On my eighteenth birthday, I got the drunkest I have ever been. During my drunken state, I lost my virginity to some random dude at the party. After that, I just became a mess. My biological father kept trying to keep up contact, till one day I actually did meet up with him. I got sober, made myself presentable, and gave him a chance."

Valoria looked down, wiping away a tear that escaped her eye. "God, I was so stupid. He wanted money, for fuck's sakes. He gave me an entire speech about loving and missing me, only to ask for ten grand. I told him no, I chose to walk away. He yelled at me, he blamed me for his downfall, and he told me how much of a mistake I was. At this point, Finn became more aware of me as a person, and he began asking me questions. He didn't understand why his sister wouldn't be able to speak, or why she would sometimes get sick in the morning. He didn't get it, and I chose not to explain it. I was an alcoholic mess and I kept falling for the wrong guys."

"I put my faith in men and got sober for them, only to have them drop me the minute they got in my pants. At some point, when I was twenty, my mother forced me into rehab. That was when I truly disappeared from media and stopped doing photo shoots, acting jobs, and anything. I went to sober myself up. My mother and step father became messy, disappearing to work and rarely coming home. It all just became so hectic, but I was released from rehab two years later, sober and happy. And now I'm here, three years later."

Valoria reached out, grabbing hold of one Joe's hands weakly. "I may be sober, but I still have intense trust and abandonment issues. I barely let anyone in and I live in fear of being dropped. I pushed you away because, honestly, I was falling so hard, Joe. I wanted you but you don't deserve this, you don't deserve someone who's as messy as me."

Joe let out a deep breath. "You're right, I don't deserve you."

Valoria's lips fell, her gaze breaking away from his. Before she could reply, Joe began speaking once again. "I don't deserve someone as strong as you, someone who has been through all that you have. Someone who has carried this much throughout their life and still stands this tall."

The brunette shifted her gaze to Joe, who looked at her with a tender smile as one of his hands moved to cup her cheek. "Val, you're amazing. Nothing about you will ever scare me off, will ever push me away from you. I told you, I want you and I will work for you."

Valoria's cheeks flushed a light pink as her lips parted slightly, taking in Joe's words. "You won't leave?"

"I hope you don't get sick of me." Joe chuckled, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm in it till you want to let go."

Valoria smiled softly, "I don't want to let go."

Joe grinned, "Good," he leaned forward, his lips hovering over hers, "because I really don't want to let go either."

Although Valoria wanted nothing more than to kiss Joe right then and there, she still pulled away and took in a deep breath. Joe gave her a confused look, his eyebrows furrowed. "Did I do something wrong or-"

"No! It's just that, I don't know- I want baby steps. I just don't want to dive straight in and have it crash and burn." Valoria blurted, her cheeks heating a darker shade of pink in embarrassment.

Joe nodded simply, giving her a small grin. "I can do baby steps, I promise."

He stood up, reaching a hand down out to help her out. "I hope cuddling is considered the first step, because I have a few movies in mind and they're the kind you watch while cuddling."

Valoria stood up with a small giggle, grabbing hold of Joe's hand. "Cuddling is a perfect first step and movies sound amazing right now."

(note !)
you now have the story of val's past! also, 2k reads and #14 in joe keery. i love you all so much, thank you so incredibly much for reading!! i'm forever grateful. 💓