What If

Chapter One:

11/16/17
Part One:Before

KATNISS POV

I awoke in a cold sweat, fear flooding my mind. My eyes were alert, scanning my surrounding. After a few seconds my breathing finally slowed and I realized it had all been a nightmare.

It wasn't real, I assured myself, although I wasn't certain. You're safe.

That was a habit of mine; reminding myself I was safe. It was true, of course. Especially not when I was on a train heading towards the capitol. No one is truly safe in Panem, especially not a victor that has angered President Snow so much to warrant a visit.

Although the nightmares that plagued me weren't of Snow himself, at least not all of them. They were mainly flashbacks of the games that I'd barely escaped alive.

No matter how much I wanted to forget, I could always recall the games; the torture, the faces of all the dead tributes, especially the ones I had killed, and the lingering smell of death that always seemed to be on me no matter what I do.

It will always come back to haunt me.

My nightmares have been especially worse lately, ever since the announcement of the Victory Tour, a capitol sponsored event in which the victor of the hunger games visited all of the other districts where they'd be praised for killing off their opponents.

I wanted nothing more than to go home and forget that the games ever happened. But, of course, all the capitol wanted to do was throw them in everyone's faces to tide their citizens over until the next games.

I slowly sat back down in my bed, covering my ears in an attempt to make the distant sound of my love one's screaming go away. After a few seconds of desperately trying to fall asleep, I heard a noise. Feet, running in the hallway towards my room.

Probably just a capitol guard that heard my screams, I thought, although I couldn't shake a weird feeling. They'd never come to check on me before....

"I'm fine, thank you," I said, almost on cue, as my door opened. Instead of being greeted with the emotionless face of a capitol guard I was greeted with Peeta, a soft and gentle expression on his face.

His hair was still a mess from sleeping, he must've woken up after he heard my screams. He was dressed in the normal expensive capitol pajamas that were already in the dressers. His bright blue eyes were alert and full of fear, just like mine.

"You sure?" he asked as he stood awkwardly in the doorway.

"I—I'm sorry to have woken you," I replied, a wave of guilt washing over me. "It was just a nightmare, I'm fine."

Peeta nodded slowly before turning to the door. "It's okay, Katniss. I get them too."

A smile tugged at my lips. Knowing Peeta was going through the same thing I was made me feel hopeful. It reassured me I didn't have to go through this alone and that this was happening to someone else. I wasn't going insane.

"Wait," I whispered, afraid he hadn't heard me. He slowly turned back to face me. "Could...could you stay. Until I fell asleep, maybe?"

I instantly expected him to reject my offer since I haven't always been the kindest to him, but he nodded and entered my room closing the door behind him.

"Always," he whispered, barely audible. He sat down at the foot of my bed.

"What are you doing?" I asked him and frowned.