What If

Chapter Thirty:

Part Four: Aftermath
Katniss

Things were blurred after the explosion. I didn't remember much as I was mainly unconscious the days sense, and the memories that I had were unclear. I remember white lab coats, the smell of burn medicine from my first games, my mother's voice, and an unfamiliar voice which I assumed me to be my doctor.

Slowly I began to regain a steady consciousness. One day I was even able to sit up on my own. I wasn't in any serious pain anymore thanks to the steady supply of morphine I was kept on.

As things began to register in my brain I was just filled with devastation. Prim, my sister and closest friend in the world, was gone. Dead, killed by the capitol. She was only just fourteen, how could she be let into a war zone?

My squad had all broken apart. I hadn't seen any of them since Tigris's shop and none of them had visited me, so I wasn't sure what to think on that front.

A few doctors had given me snippets of what had happened to fill in the gaps I had. After the children were bombed the capitol had issued an official surrender. I had been rescued and placed into a room in the expansive presidential manor along with many others.

I had severe burns all over my body, but the flames had missed my face. I'd needed serval transfusions, but I was alive. My skin was a patchwork of old, burned skin and new, pink skin all meshed together.

My mother visited me when she could. She was also consumed in grief over the loss of Prim, but she buried hers in work and taking care of Camellia, who she had now taken full responsibility of. I was in no shape to be a mother and we both knew it.

I hadn't seen Camellia since I left Thirteen. My mother had offered to bring her by to visit me some time, but I had shook my head with the most power I could at the time. I didn't want her to see me disfigured in this way. She would only fear my ghastly appearance.

A doctor came and checked in on me regularly with a panel of other doctors. On one of these days I had actually managed to stand and I had allowed nurses to dress me, which was promptly celebrated.

"I believe that Miss Everdeen has become a mental avox," my doctor told his panel of doctors later that day. "Ever since the death of her sister she has not allowed herself to speak."

I slipped away from the conversation as I often did during these visits, and the mention of Prim's death was still too fresh, too overwhelming. Once they had all left I slipped out of my room to roam the presidential manor.

Then, during this roam, something caught my eye. I rushed over towards a grand stained window and stared at a greenhouse overlooking one of the expansive yards. I rushed out towards it but was immediately stopped at the entrance by two soldiers who's uniform I didn't recognize.

"We can't let you in there," one of these soldier said in a gruff voice. The two of them interlocked their guns into an x shape to block the entrance. I wanted to plea with them, but no sound escaped my mouth.

"She has every right to what's in there," a familiar voice said. I turned to see Paylor, who was staring sternly at the guards. They nodded and moved out of my way, they must be her guards then.

I entered the greenhouse and decided that I needed a rose to pin to Snow while I assassinated him. I needed not just any rose, but a white rose like the ones I'd been plagued with for so long.