What If

Chapter Fifteen:

Katniss

I gulped nervously, mentally preparing myself to finally see the ruins of District Twelve. When I'd first been settled in Thirteen they'd offered to take me there, but I had declined. I'd been trying to avoid them forever, hoping that if I didn't see them they wouldn't be real, that my home would still be there and that I wouldn't be stuck in District Thirteen forever.

When they told me they planned to film a propo there in the ruins, I nearly vomited at the thought. But I was their mockingjay, the star of the propos. I had to fulfill my end of the deal so that they would fulfill theirs and save Peeta.

No one had discussed Peeta's interview with me, but I knew that they had all seen it. After Finnick and I had saw it, he turned off the television and offered to talk to me, but I simply shook my head and sent him away. He was in no mindset to listen to my problems, and I was in no mindset to share them yet.

I peered out the aircraft window and felt immense guilt upon seeing the ruins of District Twelve. My district, destroyed because of me, countless lives lost because of my actions.

The sight of the woods calmed down slightly. The hovercraft landed amongst the ruins and allowed us to get out.

I was instructed to film several different propos. One of them was filled with anger. Cressida fed me lines as I pointed out the cruelness of the capitol, and how they'd killed off a district without remorse.

The second propo still had an air of seriousness to it, but it was much more emotional. Castor, a part of Cressida's crew, had came up with the idea to film by Peeta's old house. I reluctantly agreed and allowed them to take me to the ruins of the bakery.

That propo was the hardest and drained the most out of me emotionally. After we finished filming Cressida suggested we head to the woods, which I was thankful for.

It felt detoxifying to be back out in the woods again. I felt as if I could finally breath. I disliked sharing my precious woods with the cameras, but I didn't dwell on it.

After a short walk we reached a small, familiar pond in which Gale started telling his old hunting stories to the cameras. He angrily told the camera how he had to hunt to survive and how he was once whipped for it.

I turned away as Gale revealed his whipping scars. I'd had enough emotional turmoil for one day.

Then Pollux made eye contact with me. Pollux was Castor's twin brother who, Castor informed me, had been an avox, meaning he had no tongue and could not talk. Pollux grabbed a stick and wrote a single word in the mud surrounding the pond: sing.

I gulped. There was no way I could refuse him, but what would I sing? Then a song idea came to mind, one that my father had taught me. A song that made all of the mockingjays go silent.

"Are you, are you, coming to the tree, where they strung up a man, they say who murdered three. Strange things did happen here, no stranger would it be, if we met at midnight in the hanging tree," I sung. I realized all the mockingjays had gone silent, along with my crew. They gestured for me to go on.

"Are you, are you, coming to the tree, where the dead man called out for his love to flee. Strange things did happen here, no stranger would it be, if we met at midnight in the hanging tree," I continued.

"Are you, are you, coming to the tree? Where I told you to run so we'd both be free. Strange things did happen here, no stranger would it be. If we met at midnight in the hanging tree," I sung. Now the only sounds were the breathing of my crew.

"Are you, are you, coming to the tree. Wear a necklace of rope, side by side with me. Strange things did happen here, no stranger would it be. If we met at midnight in the hanging tree," I finished.

The song hadn't been sung for many years, but it was always at the back of my mind. I remembered my father teaching it to me, and me eventually teaching it to Prim. When Prim and I fashioned rope necklaces like those in the song my mother immediately banned the song. After all, what mother wants their seven year old singing about hangings?

"And...cut," Cressida said. "Let's get going, we've been out here a while."

I nodded as we trekked back towards the hovercraft. "I'll meet you all soon, I just need to grab something from Victor's Village before we go."

I ran back to my old house in Victor's Village before anyone could stop me. The village remained untouched by the capitol bombs.

Opening the door was strange. Everything was the same as I'd last seen it. I forced myself to enter and began grabbing a few medicines my mother had been talking about missing. I shoved them into a nearby bag, trying to keep my mind off of things.

"This is where you kissed me."

I turned to see Gale, who had followed me. He was leaned up against the table where he'd been treated after the whipping.

"I didn't think that you remembered," I whispered.

"Katniss, I would have to be dead to forget," Gale said gravely. He moved towards me but I stayed still. Suddenly he grabbed my hands in his and was leaning closer to me.

I broke the embrace and headed out the door, tears burning in my eyes. What did he think he was doing? Maybe the spot just made me sentimental.

I sighed as I paused in front of Peeta's old house. I hand't spent much time there, but he had. I wondered if it still smelled like him inside. Part of me wanted to rush inside and grab something, anything, that reminded me of him.

But I trudged on.